epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

5 TV Reviews

Agents Of SHIELD 2x21

S.O.S part one
SHIELD do BS crap, Coulson tries to be achingly hip, the Inhumans strike and May is burdensome. Cal annoys, Weaver does nothing, Hunter needs to be surrounded by a wall of silence and Raina talks too much. Skye is a selfish twit, Raina is just there to serve Skye’s plotline and Gordon is a lickspittle. Skye’s mother's healing ability has a price, Cal wears what look like Beats headphones, Simmons bores and Coulson will not stop obsessing over Skye.

Kara and Ward have Mockingbird the useless baggage. Mockingbird betrayed Kara to get into Hydra and won’t apologise for it. May smirks. This show isn’t tonally consistent. Mockingbird wouldn’t blow her cover to save Kara but blew it to save Simmons. Mack growls, SHIELD are jerks, the plotline doesn’t weave ingeniously and TPTB mock Ward fans.

Raina dies and Skye is somehow there to see it. Mockingbird spews crap. She fights Kara and Ward in a stupid obviously sped up fight. Mockingbird is so damn special she can outfight the two of them. Ward and Kara just won’t shoot Mockingbird. This is idiot ball plotting. The Inhumans strike again, Coulson smirks, Fitz is lazy and Cal twitches. Cal becomes Mr Hyde with some dumb looking prosthetics. This episode was neither grimdark nor funny.

Mack gets an axe, Lincoln attacks, there is hair flicking and why doesn’t Cal kill anyone instead of spewing one-liners. This episode was a disappointing lame duck that was ludicrous and full of mumbling. I’m aghast at how bad this show is.

Best Lines:
“It’s too late to fix this.”

“You’re not welcome here.”

“It’s a metaphor.”

“He’s convinced SHIELD is the threat.”

“She choose.”

“This reeks of Ward.”

“Ward’s logic is rarely logic.”

“That’s your apology?”

“What appears to be gorilla testosterone.”

“Every attempt’s been ill-conceived.”

“The circle never ends.”

“Life is rarely what we dream.”

“It is neither you nor I.”

“Exactly what you are.”

“This is me calm Phil.”

“Brains everywhere.”

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (2015) 1x01

The Friends Of English Magic
This is on BBC1 yet ‘Wolf Hall’ was on BBC2? The BBC lack social imagination so here is another show about characters with pathological demand avoidance. This is an adaptation of a novel about an AU England with magic. The Napoleonic wars rage, reclusive bad wig wearing Mr Norrell does magic, snotty men sneer at the idea of practical magic and a weirdo babbles about The Raven King. Mr Norrell likes being mysterious and does cheap looking magic in York Minister.

Mr Norrell’s creepy servant lurks with unbrushed hair. Jonathan Strange is a rich idiot with no day job and becomes a magical novice. He also chases Arabella. People babble about fairies. There is overacting, mumbling and ranting about prophecies.

Mr Norrell is an idiot, the prancing street weirdo is camp and I was not overly impressed. There are six more episodes to go and I will probably check out episode 2. Mr Norrell makes an unwise deal with a creepy fairy (Marc Warren, who else) to raise a woman from the dead. The Adam Ant looking fairy is the highlight of this episode.

Best Lines:
“I want that man gone!”

“His words Sir, not mine.”

“Every copy of this was destroyed centuries ago.”

“This Norrell is lying.”

“He was a charlatan Sir.”

“Their help is always regretted.”

“All magicians are vagabonds.”

“Magic is not respectable Sir.”

“That gentleman is reading a book!”

“Your coming was foretold long ago.”

“Procure some curses!”

“The Raven is coming.”

“What worse fate can befall her?”

“Violently accost the other common man.”

“Go and fetch me a large stick.”

“His dreams come after you.”

“You do not make it sound very appealing. Choose someone else.”

“I met a man under a hedge.”

“A mirror and something dead.”

“That is not your ceiling.”

“Well obviously you are that.”

“There are rather helpful books these days.”

“This is most ungrateful indeed.”

“Speak to the other one.”

“75 years then.”

“Do not seem to be dead presently.”

Person Of Interest 3x21

Samaritan hunts Finch. Praying mantis Shaw menaces people. Root lurks, Decima lurk and target Grace (Carrie Preston). A flashback to 2010 shows the only people at Harold’s fake funeral were Grace and an Irish priest. Surveillance society has made safety impossible. Finch had done a runner but Grace being in peril makes him come back. This episode wasn’t efficient. Death and acceleration technology play into the plot. Greer is boring, Harold pity-parties, there is contrived drama and Finch will not stop lying to Grace. Finch is in peril, again. Root somehow moved 7 huge Samaritan servers by herself. This was really boring.

Best Lines:
“Who died and made you Finch?”

“Emphasis on the hurry.”

“Are they always like that?”

“Samaritan can’t see this far, yet.”

“His remains were lost at sea.”

“We do nothing.”

“Your agreement is irrelevant.”


“This moment was inevitable.”

Gotham 1x16

The Blind Fortune Teller
Fish is still in the prison where the inmates are being harvested for ‘parts’. Barbara staggers home to find cat-teen and Ivy in her penthouse. Barbara wears hooker wear. Gordon and Leslie go to the circus where the Flying Graysons perform. The doomed future parents of Dick Grayson are minor players in the plot. Penguin has a berserk button. Gordon uses a search snake to find a dead body. Fish rabble rouses. A possible future Joker is unsubtly hinted at. There is a psychic. I can’t imagine how TPTB keep making bad episodes. The possible future Joker overdoes it. Butch resurfaces. The bad child actor Bruce Wayne faces the Wayne Enterprises board and annoys in overt and latent ways.

Best Lines:
“Who gets to see a circus brawl?”

“Knickers in a handbag.”

“We have our ways.”

“Still trash. Blood is blood.”

“Quiet you!”

“Such drama.”

“Go out searching for Satanist hatchets.”

“You smell like lady soap.”

Stalker 1x19

Love Hurts
Beth whines. ‘Scream’ is ripped off. Beth and Jack hook up. Vicki’s ex Will (Kristoffer Polaha of ‘Ringer’) lurks and may be a murderer. TPTB did no scenario planning for this show. Ben is AWOL. There is an idiot incoherent plot, bad acting, David Anders and a reveal of an overlooked serial killer and a conspiracy that rips off ‘Copycat’. No wonder this was cancelled.

Best Lines:
“A play list of Taylor Swift love songs.”

“Cheap flowers, rank-ass smelling perfume.”

“No one berates me the way you do.”

“You’re on good terms.”
“He seems to think so.”
Tags: agents of shield, gotham, person of interest, review, stalker

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