epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Scream 3

Scream 3 (2000)
This was written by Ehren Kruger, the soundtrack is even worse than the ‘Scream 2’ one and despite being reshot and rewritten there is bad ADR, bad acting and is gore free and populated by morons you could care less about. Cotton (Liev Schreiber) is now a top TV talk show host. His girlfriend is undressed so she (Kelly Rutherford) and he get the big opening deaths. Sidney lives in high security isolation and works for a crisis centre under an assumed name. Detective Mark Kincaid (Patrick Dempsey) investigates. Sidney’s dead mother has her name dragged through the mud some more. Clunky technology is used.

Violence in cinema is debated on the ‘Stab 3’ set where Woodsboro is recreated. Kincaid and his partner (who later on vanishes without explanation) wander around. Gale (Courteney Cox Arquette) looks like a badly dressed sunburnt scarecrow with a bad wig. She runs into Jennifer Jolie (Parker Posey) who plays Gale in the ‘Stab’ movies. Dewey is an advisor on ‘Stab 3’; Gale ditched him again and has turned into a parody of herself. Jay and Silent Bob cameo. There is an orgy of self-congratulation and Neve Campbell showing off her ACTINGS.

Sidney’s dad shows up. Sarah (Jenny McCarthy) is killed and viewers are invited to be glad that stupid bitches get dead. I don’t care about the endless Dewey/Gale toxicity. Jennifer’s bodyguard (Patrick Warburton) exists only to get killed. The set pieces are idiotic and one features a fax machine. There is 90s hair and this was terrible and dull and worth sitting through only for McDreamy. Where was Kincaid in ‘Scream 4’? Randy (Jamie Kennedy) makes a video cameo courtesy of his never before mentioned sister (Heather Matarazzo). Sidney wears dead Derek’s fraternity letters and there is a pointless Carrie Fisher cameo.

Horror producer John Milton (Lance Henriksen) exists only to be a red herring. There is more horrible sexism. Sidney and Kincaid like each other, he is not the killer. Which is a shame as he is one of the very few people in this film bothering to do any actual acting. In the big dumb climax there is bad stunt work, rampant illogic, off screen deaths and the killer can’t act and you can barely recall who he is. This was piffling tripe populated by cretins who as they say suffer the consequences. This was not the end, adversaries would rise again in ‘Scream 4’ but maybe it and this and ‘Scream 2’ should never have come to be.

Best Lines:
“Only recently finished shooting a cameo as himself in the film ‘Stab 3: Return To Woodsboro’, the third and final part of the famous horror series based on the Woodsboro and Windsor College murders.”

“Never had a psycho problem.”

“An ex-con with a trashy talk show.”

“Probably some psycho fan pissed off they killed Randy in ‘Stab 2’.”

“You win that talent search for the new Sidney.”

“Someone dies and Gale comes running.”

“Hey Connie, how’s Maury?”

“Psychos can’t kill what they can’t find.”

“’Stab 3’ - Jesus I gotta get a new agent.”

“I’m not happy that my character is too dumb to have a gun in the house after her boyfriend’s been cut into fish sticks.”

“My boyfriend just died, why am I showering?”

“Very Hannibal Lecter. Very ‘Seven’.”

"That makes me ANGRY!"

"Dealing with an unexpected back-story and a preponderance of exposition."

"Ghosts that don't go away."

"You can't shoot ghosts."

"Gonna jump outta his screening room with a sling blade or something."

"Third act celberation."
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