The Fallen
Sadly Thea is not dead. Oliver smiles his smarmy creeper smile. Why does Thea get to live and Tommy doesn’t? Where is Lance and his frothing at the mouth? Malcolm makes cry faces. He never mourned Tommy. There are more useless Hong Kong flashbacks. Oliver just will not stop being violent and stupid. Felicity the sideho won’t get lost. Thea gets a dip in the magic hot tub/Lazarus Pit. Why her? Ray is sick of the cheater Felicity and dumps her. Malcolm is somehow allowed to run around.
Diggle won’t shut up. This show has become bad fanfic starring the Mary-Sue Felicity. You can see Thea holding her breath as she takes a dip. Then she leaps and screams and bores. Felicity mouths off to Ra’s. Does Talia exist in ‘Arrow’? Will Felicity just go away? TPTB need to sort out their muddled thinking and fix this crap. Felicity and Oliver screw because Oliver can’t stop screwing other men’s women.
Felicity is overjoyed at getting Oliver’s wang at last. There is bad acting. Felicity tries to be tough. Where is Laurel? This was a total waste. Felicity needs to get off my TV. Felicity goes to Laurel for comfort cos everyone has to love the bint. Oliver gets some brands. Oliver uniforms up. Ra’s smirks. I could care less.
Best Lines:
“You stole a car?”
“I borrowed it.”
“He’s won.”
“They do amazing things at STAR Labs.”
“She’s the only child I have left.”
“You’ve no idea what you’ve done.”
“I don’t know what it was all for.”
“The scary fortress always has a secret exit.”
“Blood has been shed. Legion blood.”
“Heir to the demon.”
~
Mama’s Here Now
Nate is framed, nobody cares. Frank smugs. Keating’s mother shows up. I’m going to see how season 1 resolves itself and then I’m going to drop this. Keating’s mother berates her. A nurse is in trouble. Bonnie is a terrible lawyer. Rebecca annoys. Keating has a ‘tragic’ back-story. Wes realises he is obsessed with a liar. This was terrible and has a ‘reveal’: Wes meets his predecessor Rudy and realises something that should have been self-evident.
Best Lines:
“All you need is another dead body stinking up the place.”
“Sorry-ass husband.”
“Don’t sass me.”
“Fancy ass rich house.”
“Where is the home training?”
“The dead has arisen.”
“The bastard deserved the grave.”
~
Hearts And Minds
I caught up on this episode that I missed when it first aired. There are ridiculous hairstyles. One of Mary’s Guise uncles lurks. Bash is injured. Francis sulks. There is bad acting. Kenna demands to be Henri’s mistress. Mary’s nice Portuguese sidepeice isn’t so nice. TPTB try to explain the difference between this Francis and the real life one who died of earache. This is wildly historically inaccurate with stupid fight scenes. Francis is a moron. Mary wears tartan. There are false friends and Mary emotes down a dark corridor. This was naff.
Best Lines:
“I detect reservations.”
“You’ll be Queen of nothing.”
“How do you feel?”
“Close to death apparently.”
“There are whispers in court that he murdered his first wife.”
“She’s my property now, not yours.”
“And to get a ride out of town on that vegetable cart.”
“Thanks to you, I’m going to be a King.”
“The vile rumours.”
~
The Longevity Initiative (no. 97)
The charisma vacuum Keen coos over Tom. The Major (Lance Henriksen) mutters. Red and his flamboyant self regard has loggerhea. A mad scientist looks for immortality or does he? Tom runs from his former boss who wants to shoot him and some angry fake neo-Nazis. Jellyfish swim around. Red has infelicities. Cooper is blackmailed. There is a sob story and a ‘twist’. Red goes on about yet another big bad. Ressler hangs around Keen. The Major wants Tom dead. Tom burns stuff and heads ‘home’. There was not the barest modicum of human logic in this ep.
Best Lines:
“Your passports are burned.”
“Entered the human trial phase.”
“Solve the death riddle.”
“Tell them they need to stop that bus.”
“The only living creature on earth that never dies.”
“Death is beneath you.”
“A dark cloud is approaching.”
“I am the puppet of a high functioning sociopath.”
~
Lost And Found
Perry and the krankie hang out at a motel. The cops are horrible. Stupid high school kids are stupid. People are menaced by a stalker and everyone thinks high school student Jenny is a nutter. Jenny’s ‘friends’ are awful; reality TV has destroyed the emotional responses of generations. Perry has existential doubts about the crazy krankie. There is mumbling. A ludicrous twist reveals that Jenny is being framed for being a crazy stalker. The real nutter is shoved down a convenient staircase. This was very, very stupid.
Best Lines:
“Rumours become fact.”
“She’s not a dirty girl!”
“A man-slut.”
“She’s not well.”