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Movie Reviews: Stranger Than Fiction + Wild Things + League Of Their Own + Return To The Batcave

Stranger Than Fiction (2000)
This stars Natasha Gregson Wagner and Dina Meyer. A group of ‘friends’ engage in murder, a cover up and bad driving which leads to more cover ups, blackmail, bribery and more murder. The friends keep on killing people to cover up earlier murders and misdeeds. This is similar to ‘Very Bad Things’ but better. The ending leaves intriguing questions raised but unanswered. This was weird but good.

Best Lines:
“Why is there a naked dead guy on your living room floor?”

“Dear God this man had a hard life being a bum and all. Please watch out for him since Emma didn’t. Amen.”

“Everything in the trunk is supposed to be dead!”

“We’ll kill her. She’s really really old! I mean, how hard could it be?”

~
Wild Things (1998)
They’re dying to play with you.
Was this a thriller or a stealth parody of the erotic thriller genre of the 90s? The evidence goes both ways. In steamy, swampy Florida - plotting is afoot in Blue Bay. By the end credits (which are full of didactic footnotes) several characters have activity limitations by way of being dead.

Blue blood Kelly Van Ryan (Denise Richards of ‘Starship Troopers’ and ‘The World Is Not Enough’) is the hot mean girl cheerleader at her school. The guidance counsellor Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon) is an orange sleaze whom Kelly and others inexplicably lust over. The school is so posh it has a sailing class. Suzie (Neve Campebell of ‘Scream’) is trailer trash - you can tell by the henna tattoos, cheap jewellery, dark makeup, two tone hair and dark nail polish. She and Kelly do not get on.

Kelly’s mother Sandra (Theresa Russell) is never fully dressed. There is inappropriate behaviour, everything is sexualised, people shout down huge mobile phones and the DA (Jeff Perry of ‘Nash Bridges) is wise while two dogged cops (one of whom is Kevin Bacon) investigate the goings on. Lombardo hires low rent strip mall lawyer Bowden (Bill Murray). Lies are told, the Van Ryan lawyer (Robert Wagner) rolls his eyes, a spear gun is waved and who is exploiting who?

How is Sam so desirable? How does he entice and confound so many women? There are twists, a threesome and a twisted and kinky plot. There is death, a lot of people look orange and a cop is rabid. A stone cold manipulative psychopath is behind events - but it is not who you think. Kelly wanted to be loved and choose badly, people are shirt phobic, there are lots of death, ludicrous twists, nudity, more twists and a bad polyester wig. This was excellent.

Best Lines:
“You’re finished here.”

“Swamp trash.”

“I know exactly what’s going on.”

“Keep a real close eye on my new friends.”

“What is a sex crime?”
“Not getting any!”

“Where’d she get those shoes? Whores For Less?”

“Where’s your hose Mr Lombardo?”

“Kelly Van Ryan’s gonna wash your jeep?”

“They’re not going to find it. Right?”

“Jet set real estate heiress and part of the powerful Blue Bay elite. And the girl from the wrong side of the tracks.”

“YOU SKANKY BITCH!”

“You’re dead!”
“No I’m not.”

“Here’s to large bank accounts.”

“Nice girlfriend you got there.”

“The area known as stoner beach.”

“A student is accusing me of rape.”
“Male or female?”

“Three times is enemy action.”

“Hope I never make you mad.”

“One little white trash bitch.”

“Pricy piece of trim.”

“What we have here is you on the Van Ryan property without a proper warrant shooting a porn flick.”

“Get out of these people’s lives.”

“People aren’t always what they appear to be.”

“Take one of your mom’s valiums or something.”

“Angry sexually confused girl.”

“That little straw up Kelly’s nose or that dog collar you got wrapped around your neck.”

“ARE YOU RETARDED? OR JUST BRAIN DEAD FROM WHIFFING FUMES OUT THERE IN THE SWAMP?"

~
A League Of Their Own (1992)
Tom Hanks speaks over the women and there is tiresome sibling rivalry in this account of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League during World War II. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Well then, this would be more, wouldn’t it?”

“This is our daughter Dottie and this is our other daughter, Dottie’s sister.”

“You think there are men in this country who ain’t seen your bosoms?”

~
Return To The Batcave: The Misadventures of Adam and Burt (2003)
The Batmobile is stolen and Adam West and Burt Ward must find it whilst having flashbacks of the making of the classic 60s TV show. This was hilarious.
Tags: batman1966, movie review
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