epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Fab Five + 14 others

Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleader Scandal (2008)
Jenna Dewan and Tatum O’ Neal star in this true story based on the scandalous disrespectful behaviour of some Texas cheerleaders in 2006. A new cheerleading coach (Dewan) takes on a squad of bratty liars with whiny timbres. The principle (O’Neal) who is the mother of one of the gang is dishonest and inconsistent. The gang post suggestive photos and videos, drink and are an out of control social elite. Cheerleading rules are fragrantly flouted by the recalcitrant brats as they send fake dirty texts, brawl and rampage in a sex shop.

The coach can’t cope and no-one will give the brats a bitter dose of reality. She is left emotionally devastated as the brats do exactly as they please. This had bad acting and was just bad. Consequences arrive sort of. The brats regarded rules as structures of oppression. People who tried to impose discipline were offered up for tacit condemnation. What has changed?

Best Lines:
“They can fling themselves around all right.”

“Satan’s cheerleaders.”

“Tabitha kiss her.”

“Going to camp in a limo.”

“Couldn’t do a back hand swing.”

“Chill bitch!”

“I don’t know what a hotbox means.”
“Either do I!”

“You bubbly slut!”

“The repercussions will be expulsion!”

“The Fab Five run this school.”

“Disciplinary action referral.”

“A bunch of trashy sluts.”

“Run slut! Run!”

“Wait for those little monsters to graduate.”

~
The Pretender 2001 (2001)
A follow up after the show’s cancellation after 4 seasons. Miss Parker has inner sense, Jarod battles yet another evil pretender while showing off his new hair cut and Mr Lyle hangs out with Mr Raines. This was good.

The Pretender: The Island Of The Haunted (2002)
The end, no questions answered but more are raised. Thanks TPTB! Jarod finds his useless mother again. She runs off, again. Miss Parker and Jarod bond. Sidney and Boots break into the Bodily Fluids Storage Facility. Mr Lyle and Raines plot. Paternity is revealed, Mr Parker gets his and Raines is revealed. Where is Mr Parker and Brigitte’s baby? Who is the real father of Lyle, Miss Parker and Brigitte’s baby? WTF is the chosen one? Excellent.

~
Lexx 1x01: I Worship His Shadow
Bizarre German/American cult TV show pilot.

From Hell (2002)
Bad.

Dark City (1998)
Very strange.

Best Lines:
“He can tune!”

“We use your dead as vessels.”

My Little Eye (2002)
Contestants on a webcast reality show hang out in an isolated house. Okay.

The One (2001)
Bad.

Past Tense (1994)
Okay, with a good twist ending.

Joyride (2001)
Ugh.

She’s All That (1998)
Sweet and cute.

Wishcraft (2001)
A low budget horror about a guy who gets three wishes. Meatloaf co-stars.

Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)
The Jason/Kimberly/Tommy triangle goes on. Kat falls in water and forgets she is an Olympic calibre diver. Ugly zords are driven around. A 12 year old becomes a Ranger. Incredibly complex arm movements and posing are performed. Silly.

Best Lines:
Pink is out!”

“Into the fire! Into the fire!”

Mars Attacks (1996)
Poo.

Carry On Behind (1975)
Silly.
Tags: movie review, supergirl
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