The Atticus Institute (2015)
This is a mock documentary about events in a psychology lab in 1976. Parapsychologists headed up by William Mapother of ‘Lost’ investigated a creepy woman with powers named Judith. She acts oddly and becomes a hate sink. Harry Groener plays an older version of one of the scientists who looks back with dismay on the events of 1976. The government took over when it became clear that Judith wasn’t a psychic but something else. There is related debate by various thickset people about how stupid they were. There is mumbling and yelling in the dark. This was disconcerting in places but that doesn’t mean it actually matters. This was unsatisfactory. There was ranting about a paperclip, flickering lights and the government attempt to harness what is inside Judith. The ‘twist’ is easily guessed and the finale is bleak, scary and full of ugly wrong words. I wish this had been better.
Best Lines:
“She’s pissing again. Get the towels.”
“We believed.”
“She’s still doing it!”
“Now is not the time for compassion.”
“You’d do well to stay quiet.”
“It’s like a shadow, except, it’s not mine.”
~
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012)
Bella’s a vampire now. So she and Edward neglect their creepy marble baby to hunt, sniff and mock Jacob. Everyone is perilously close to decking everyone else. This was not an intrinsically emotional experience as Bella is a selfish violent moronic twat who plans to lie to her father so she can screw Edward 24/7. There is attempted emoting but no sparkling. This was cheese.
Best Lines:
“Moronic wolfy claim.”
“Done already?”
“We’ll come back, they always do.”
“Turn into a very large dog.”
“JACOB, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!”
~
The Sure Thing (1985)
This so very worthy drama stars John Cusack who is all sweetness and sensitivity. Daphne Zuniga is his true love and Nicolette Sheridan is the distraction.
Blacula (1972)
An 18th century African prince runs afoul of Dracula, becomes a vampire and runs around the funky 70s. Lets rip.
Sleepwalkers (1992)
Stephen King wrote a script about shape shifting vampires into incest and killing virgins and animal abuse. Foul.
Black Sheep (1996)
‘Tommy Boy’ was better.