One Of Us
The indefatigable Cal assembles a league of demi-evil in an RV. There is muttering about The Gifted Index which is obviously a set up for ‘Civil War’. Where is Ward? Cal can’t stand still and look vaguely dignified. Karla (Drea De Matteo of ’Desperate Housewives’) has knives for fingertips and indignation. Coulson is full of galloping hypocrisy. May’s ex Andrew (Blair Underwood of ‘The Event‘) shows up. Simmons has a sense of grievance. Fitz and she are cross-purposed. Mockingbird and her low rent hooker gear and Mack are spectacularly off-putting.
May poses. Andrew has deeper thoughts. May has contempt and distain. SHIELD really is in the moral gutter. Why did May divorce Andrew? Cal is full of hatred and death. Mockingbird misrepresents the truth. Coulson has no unconditional empathic regard for Hunter’s disappearance. Skye has incontinent language and manic interference. The unpleasant Skye has a steadfast refusal to see sense. Wasn’t Hawkeye supposed to guest star on this show?
Mockingbird lies. Cal is foaming at the mouth hair on fire crazy. But he isn’t an Inhuman. Skye is contemptuous. The ruinous May is the ghastliest. A screamer kills people. Mack and Hunter swap heated accusations and contrary arguments. Hunter is an old dogmatist. There is overacting and Cal isn’t wilfully susceptible. Teleporting guy shows up. He is not played by Peter Wingfield anymore. Why? Coulson, May and Mockingbird fight the demi-evil nobodies. There is too much slow-motion. Skye has been giving herself hairline fractures. Coulson is ideologically opposed to Inhumans; Skye needs to disassociate herself from SHIELD. Cal is pathologically vengeful, there are bendable ductile values and this starts out well but isn’t sustainable. I don’t even care about the ‘twist’.
“You called me friend once.”
“Are you SHIELD?”
“I’ll try not to be offended.”
“Not so mighty any more.”
“Won’t anticipate a Manson.”
“Except for the secret basement under the North Wing. We run that.”
“Pillow stern looks.”
“Wanted to be better at enforcing.”
“I don’t like food.”
“They are the criminals.”
“Bailing and beer.”
“We don’t need you.”
“SHIELD hasn’t changed.”
“The wreckage from what Fury left.”
“SHIELD. The real SHIELD.”
“You’re a science experiment.”
The capricious and increasingly belligerent Reese is in First Class heading to Rome. A noxious passenger isn’t mindful but Reese has ripostes. Reese sees signs indicative of evil. People are clouted. Reese is demoralised and inclemency is ahead. A US Marshal makes sententious comments. Does nobody notice the stabbing, drugging, murdering and fighting in mid-air? Reese has lateral thinking. The plot revolves around the darknet and bit coins. There is a discomforting sitch. The ISA show up. WTF is a relevant number? Finch and Reese have highly partial views. WTF is a stun belt? Assertions are made.
Why is the plane showing an old film? Reese is attacked with a fork. Shaw has a direct exchange. A radical loser is in peril. There is a non twist. Hersh isn’t dead. There are rip-offs of ‘24’, ‘The Lone Gunmen’ and ‘Bones’. This was good if unrealistic. But why wasn’t there a co-pilot? Reese rejoins Team Machine like there was any doubt.
“Talked himself out.”
“The unconscious Marshal on the lavatory.”
“Refrain from engaging with this man.”
“Mr dark and stormy.”
“Just throw him over there.”
“The violent psychopath who stabbed me with a syringe.”
“Infiltrating my kitchen to detain me.”
“You seem like an angry guy.”
“Posters and dead plants.”
“Then they stuck a fork in me.”
“There’s nowhere to land.”
“Dude, your hair looks fine.”
“That walking steroid.”
There is random gratuitous violence. Ed gurns. Penguin plots, Fish dresses like a drag queen and fancies herself as poisonously beautiful. Fish risks hepatitis. Bruce goes back to school. The cultural expectations about Batman can’t conceal the fact that Bruce is a twat. Gordon is angry. Penguin’s mother has a genuine readiness to be crazy. Gordon rants about his right to be visible. The unfortunate fact is that Barbara hinders Gordon and that she whines, bitches and moans. Fish’s temptress clomps around. The plot rips off ‘Boiler Room’ and ‘Fight Club’. A mouth breather villain plots. Bruce oscillates between being annoying and or a psychopath. Printer toner is important.
Alfred needs to get a better job. Why is there a clock in Barbara’s window? The ho finds ho-ing burdensome. Cat-teen is un-representative of Catwoman. Alfred helps Bruce bully a child who'll grow up to baddie Hush so that's okay then. The GCPD are lazy and useless. Gordon is utterly alone. This was not decisive and the plots don’t counterbalance. Gordon vows to clean up Gotham. Wooden Barbara sulks. Cat-teen annoys. Bruce needs Prozac and or Ritalin. Fish lies.
“Rats have just started on his ears.”
“That was uncalled for.”
“Because you do.”
“Define normal and make a good case for it.”
“Teacher did nothing.”
“I denounced Magda’s father to secret police.”
“He always lies.”
“When did this become normal for this city?”
“I hope you broke their bastard teeth.”
“There would be immense shame in it.”
“People are afraid of you. Is that not enough?”
“This is a thread.”
“Can you teach me to fight?”
“Yes Master Bruce. Yes I can.”