epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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How To Get Away With Murder 1x05 + The Blacklist 2x09 + The Musketeers 2x07 Reviewed

We’re Not Friends
Laurel the boring one bangs Frank and in flashforwards, she has become the dominant one in the relationship. The gang blabber about stealth jurors. Annalise is aggressive about Sam banging Lila. Wes annoys. The case of the week is a boy who killed his father and is playing the abuse excuse. The gang manipulate the court. Rebecca is flippant. Wes is awful. Nate rants. There are issues all around. These are awful horrible people. It is never revealed whether the abuse story was faked or not.

Sam is harangued by his wife. This was a breathtakingly abysmal ep. Rebecca talks about Lila and then legs it. There is spite. Wes annoys and needs shooting. This was on par with the ‘Kenan & Kel’ school of TV quality and was like being made to listen to Chris de Burgh singing ‘Patricia The Stripper’.

Best Lines:
“Judge me if you want.”

“We were never just some affair.”
“Tell that to your first wife.”

“Dad on the floor, he wasn’t moving. I was so relieved.”

“How do we win this?”

“Happily divorced? Oh lord yes.”

“Self serving hearsay.”

“Everything I leave my house someone screams psycho killer.”

“I might go all redrum on your ass. Although something tells me you might be into that.”

“Your gay sex app.”

“This one is on her.”

“Lying is a criminal act.”

“You’ve been evaluated before?”

“Kappa Kappa Bitch.”

“Hot young piece of ass.”

“Being strip searched with words.”

“Like I’d ever want to screw you.”

“Your husband’s Mr Darcy!”

“The wallpaper! Look at the wallpaper!”

Luther Braxton (no. 21)
Reddington is publicly arrested (it is all part of a cunning plan). Why did he vanish in 1990? He’s still not telling. He ends up in a black site prison in the Bering Sea. Red does his usual glassy-eyed stare. People mumble. Liz and her bad haircut bores. I care not for Red and his paternalistic gaze and paranoid conceit. Black site inmate Braxton (Ron Perlman) is to escape. He is the core menace of this ep, he and his band of roving hobos and wild dogs.

A new conspiracy guy (David Strathairn) shows up to replace the wasted Alan Alda. Ressler and co are menaced. Red and Liz blather about the Fulcrum which is a deliberately ill-defined blackmail file. And it has drawn the attention of the malignity Braxton. The vanilla format of this show bores and this show is no longer tonally distinct. Braxton and Red are about as menacing as hostile street hawkers.

There is no subtle nuance here. Red is tetchily annoying and Liz the disobedient woman stands around being useless. There is blather about a master code and how the black site is also a Level 6 Intelligence Node. But of course it is. Isn’t Cooper dying? There is a harshness of judgement and a vague conspiracy of contemporary neuroses. Why did Red abandon his old life? He won’t say. Liz and Red might as well be the protagonists of a Diet Coke commercial. I miss Tom. Stuff blows up. Liz is captured. Bland cocktail funk plays. Red goes on a roaring rampage. There is cliff-hanger and this was dire.

Best Lines:
“You don’t exist.”

“Information is squeezed out.”

“A slaughterhouse for spies.”

“He’s not co-operating.”

“He is bloody.”

“You’ve lost the facility.”

“Broken out of 7 prisons.”

“What network?”

“Most dangerous enemies.”

“Lost how?”

“This whole operation is deep black.”

“Kooks. Paranoid freaks.”

“You should do something else for a living.”

“No wonder you keep her.”

“Shoot him! Shoot him!”

A Marriage Of Inconvenience
Milady is murdering again and learns a big big secret. Rochefort and his shirtlessness gaslights Louis into making him First Minister, Rochefort looks sexually aroused as he parades his triumph and shows how Louis has feted him. What goal is Rochefort pursuing with such grim determination?  D’Artagnana the nominal ‘hero’ needs to find his manners. A marriage alliance between France and Sweden is planned. Princess Louise and her ugly hairdo are in peril.

Rochefort is murdering again, no one notices that he is axe crazy. But Rochefort has noticed the Queen and Aramis’ connection and is not happy. Assassins attack. Rochefort the annihilating ghoul and his dramatic cape strides around, he needs to wash and comb his hair. An Archbishop dies. Aramis waves his jewelled crucifix around. Rochefort is bug eyed. Athos is all CSI Renaissance. Anne is underused. Louis won’t get out of bed and Constance bores.

Constance’s awful husband is murdered. Rochefort manipulates the royal baby’s governess. Constance gets a slap. Aramis is a tool. Everyone is susceptible to low emotion. D’Artagnan isn’t very bright. Treville is shot. There is fallout from long ago deeds. It is mentioned that Rochefort is a Comte and he wants to know why the Cardinal did not pay Spain the ransom for him.

Rochefort and Milady clash and she is chucked out of the Louvre. Athos cares for Milady. She has no sense. The royal doctor shows a limited concept of infection control and lung draining. There is a twist and the ravages of Rochefort’s campaign take their toil. No-one sees the assassin pointing a crossbow out a window in broad daylight? This was good, the quartet have a quickening sense of disgust for Rochefort but they still don’t realise he is the worst of liars and has sociopathic ambition.

Best Lines:
“As your majesty commands.”

“Hired assassins.”
“But who hired them?”

“I have several names.”

“Oh he’s dead by the way.”

“He’s a Spanish spy.”

“You betrayed me. Why?”

“Why would be abandon a loyal servant in such a fashion?”
“Well the Cardinal felt that you were, perhaps, not entirely of sound mind.”
“I spent 5 years in that hellhole.”

“May the womb of your humble servant Louise be fruitful.”

“Assuming you can manage such a simple task.”

“Old fashioned but deadly.”

“He’s plagued with fears.”

“This marriage is my death sentence.”

“No! No! The shame!”

“I might have loved you once if things had been different. Remember that.”

“Out! Out!”

“I’m finished here.”

“I have more than 500 guards under my command unless you killed any in a bar room brawl today.”

“You leave carrying only what you arrived with.”

“Find the preparatory sketches.”

“You won’t miss. You never miss.”
Tags: how to get away with murder, musketeers, the blacklist

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