epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Southland Tales + 3 others

Southland Tales (2007)
From the writer and director of the okay ‘Donnie Darko’ comes this tale of America and its discontents. After World War III, martial law abounds, alternative fuel Fluid Karma is explored, neo-Marxists shout and famous actor Boxer Santaros (Dwayne Johnson) has amnesia. An Iraq veteran (Justin Timberlake) narrates the film and has a thing for quoting the Book of Revelation.

People blather about USIdent. Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is an entrepreneurial porn star who has written a screen play with Boxer and preaches her own brand of liberation theology on TV. This was maddeningly vague and you understand why it was booed at Cannes.

Krysta wears a ratty wig and this film has no dignity or melancholic soul. Silly costumes are worn and bad dialogue is uttered. Middle age hippie women wave guns. A real cop and his identical twin brother (Sean William Scott) do stuff in-between bouts of staring. Curtis Armstrong, Christopher Lambert, John Larroquette, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore, Amy Poehler, Miranda Richardson, Zelda Rubinstein and Wallace Shawn run around. This was horrible and just noise not monomyth.

Best Lines:
“The penetrating issues facing society today. Issues like abortion, terrorism, crime, poverty, social reform, quantum teleportation, teen horniness and war.”

”Cockchugging 2!”

“My four ex-husbands on a fishing trip, which they took every year to bitch about me.”

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)

Mystery Men (1999)
I don’t like it.

The Howling (1981)
This and ‘An American Werewolf In London’ and ‘Wolfen’ all suck.
Tags: movie review

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