epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Arrow 3x10 + How To Get Away With Murder 1x03 + The Musketeers 2x05 Reviewed

Left Behind
Where is zombie Tommy? I want zombie Tommy. Felicity and her contemptuous dismissive tone annoys. Diggle is ever useless. Why is it Felicity’s inalienable right to be full of slashing righteousness. A new baddie named Brick (Vinnie Jones) plans to take over The Glades for some reason. The flashbacks to Hong Kong are a yawner. Brick is hate motivated and wears a vest. Thea and her sodsplit dad bond. Arsenal does stuff. Malcolm crashes the Arrowcave. Why does nobody mention Tommy? Where is Huntress? Why is stuff kept from Laurel?

Why is Oliver’s ‘death’ all about Felicity and her selective speech codes? Merlyn has microaggressions. This episode stunk. Everyone lies to Thea, Ray gets annoyed and Felicity is sanctimonious. She is the one who egged on Oliver to fight someone called the Demon’s Head. Felicity stomps out of the Arrowcave to be fragrant somewhere else. Oliver is saved by an old friend. Felicity causes major damage. Laurel steals Sara’s Black Canary gear that was just lying around. Thea keeps on trying to be tough - it is ludicrous. Laurel gets her Black Canary on.

Best Lines:
“Free my wife?”
“From where?”

“Stop ignoring me!”

“I thought he was green.”

“There’s the green one.”

“You take me down first you walk out alive.”

“This is your fault.”

“I’m out.”
“Here, use mine.”

“I don’t have to help you.”

“I’m the justice you can’t run from.”

Smile Or Go To Jail
Who killed Keating’s husband Sam and why? Rebecca and Lila’s boyfriend Griffin are arrested for Lila’s murder. People worry the murder could damage the university. Fickle annoying Michaela has a fiancée Aiden and Connor knows all his secrets. Wes wears a 90s shirt and wants to unlock Rebecca’s phone. Keating is hired by a woman arrested for having sex in a park but Paula (Ana Ortiz of ‘Devious Maids’) turns out to have bigger problems. She is a fugitive wanted for a 1994 bombing. Paula’s husband is emotionally savaged. Patty Hearst is mentioned.

Keating tone arguments and likes her monetisation of sleaze. Wes uncovers a secret about the phone and nags Keating into defending Rebecca. Flashforwards show the gang prancing around faking an alibi. Meanwhile the 1994 bomb leader (Jason Gedrick of ‘Murder One’) is sleazy. Michaela is uninterruptible, Paula is an awful woman and Keating and her friends drink out of long stemmed glassware. Sam lies. Wes is obsessed with the trashy lying ungrateful Rebecca. Griffin blames Rebecca. Why is Wes so obsessed by someone who is so indelibly associated with trash? Laurel the boring one is boring.

Flashforwards show Michaela hysterical. Meanwhile Connor is an ass and Michaela shrieks and engages in bi-erasure. Frank isn’t a lawyer so what is he?  Wes rants. Paula’s husband is forgiving. Connor prolongs his jerk ass behaviour. The bomb leader is incisive and there is a twist. Also Keating’s lover lies. This bored.

Best Lines:
“But we haven’t asked for much.”
“But you’re asking now.”

“Sex in the park lady?”

“Not every case is a serial killer.”

“Shut up and learn.”

“Hooker mom turned out to be bomb mom.”

“I don’t care what you have to say right now.”

“We were against that stuff years ago.”

“We do what with it?”

“Please don’t tell Kevin that I said that.”

“It doesn’t include you ruining us.”

“Do you mind going somewhere else?”

“Your creepy lover just betrayed you.”

“Choose your husband carefully.”

“That is not the right answer Frank.”

The Return
Treville is an ordinary musketeer. Athos is dragged back to his lands and people. Porthos wants to know who his daddy is. Athos screams, is an ass and is as bitter as a bad pint. Noblemen are evil. Athos has misty water coloured memories of Milady. This was not nerve-shredding or sweat inducing. Athos runs into his dead brother’s fiancée who used to be his. Until he took up with Milady who murdered his brother and still beguiles him. There is no Rochefort or any court member in this episode. The fiancée has an axe to grind, a big axe. Sexual violence is planned; this was not feral or genuinely dangerous. Foes are so foe-like they need no motivation or back-story. Athos tells the fiancée about Milady being alive, they won’t end well. This episode was neither amusing nor astounding. Athos preaches revolution and in general acts in an attention-seeking, sad, erratic, irritating, derivative and incompetent way. He and his musketeer buddies are pure smarm. This was laughable and frustratingly bland. Athos is weirdly passive when it comes to Milady who he still loves.

Best Lines:
“Athos is drunk somewhere.”

“I left this life!”

“He burns the crops and poisons what’s left.”

“Your responsibility to the social order.”

“Low people.”

“You live like this?”

“You brought that woman home.”

“I hope she’s burning in hell.”

“Centuries of inbreeding is making the aristocracy stupid.”

“I wasn’t born to this life.”

“She ruined your life and yet she still breathes?”
Tags: arrow, how to get away with murder, musketeers

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