epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

  • Music:

Trailers, Quotes and a 1997 Tape Tale

‘The Comeback’ promo
No, this wasn’t funny first time around.

Best Line:
“You’re on my foot!”

‘Wolf Hall’ 1x03 promo
Anne Boleyn shows off her fecundity and is unapologetic and never learnt to adopt a Jesuitical high minded expression.

Best Line:
“When my son is born, they’ll all be powerless.”

‘50 Shades of Grey’ TV spot
No.

‘Siberia’ promo
WTF?

‘Heroes Reborn’ promo
No.

‘Jurassic World’ tv spot
Looks good: “20,000 people with nowhere to go.”

‘Profit’ promo
They don’t make ads like this anymore.

Brownie - yum.
Italian orange choc - nice.
Milk chocolate with salted butterscotch - good.
Pear tart - ugh.

I will review 'The Invisible Library',‘The Atticus Institute’, ‘Secret Brother’ and ‘A Necessary End’.

Review of ‘The Best Horror Of The Year Volume 7’ has been delayed.

‘Psych’ Quotes:
“My main mistress.”

“His empties his weapon into you.”

“Java the cop.”

“They won’t come and I feel ashamed.”

‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quotes:
“Killed by badger.”

“I think there’s a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight.”

“A brawny member of the weasel family.”

“I’ve run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens.”

“There’s no cholera in Pasadena.”

‘Broadchurch’ Quote:
“I know men who would rape you.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“I do hate my sister.”

“A fish with a bad liver.”

“Junkie, whore, terrible mom.”

“Does not feel safe.”

“Why can’t she do that?”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“I can emotionally trust her.”

“You don’t wear underwear.”

“And then it falls apart.”

“No you don’t.”
“I do.”

“Were you sober when you wrote that?”

“It’s not clean.”

“There’s some sex offenders close by.”

“I grounded her ass for that.”

“Somebody will die tonight.”

“This is ok?”

“I let her do things that are wholly inappropriate.”

“So stop.”

“Spoiled, snotty little bitches.”

“You got arrested in June.”

“Act like a normal human being.”

‘Sunday Telegraph’ Quotes:
“I am flypaper for damaged women.”

“May or may not have resulted in my divorce.”

“Button-pushing, wilfully offensive nut-job-maniac.”

“Made him look deranged.”

“It’s weird there.”

“You don’t have mouth herpes, do you?”

“It makes you poor and crazy.”

“Reducing him to a set of co-morbid psychological disorders.”

“Most phlegmatic human being in history.”

“Instant vomit.”

“Stuck out like a dingo’s bits.”

“His uptight reputation.”

‘The Sunday Telegraph’ Quotes:
“My sister is married, and I am not. I am shaming my parents.”

“The worst kind of self-judgement.”

“The irrational degree to which she was holding her self-esteem.”

“Showed Denton getting busy with a broken wine bottle and a neighbour’s head.”

“A slightly worrying reflection on the tastes of the British public perhaps.”

“Who would live on popcorn or get addicted to laxatives.”

“Arranging fights between his teenage sister and the boys down the street for himself to gamble on.”

“That appearance was as cutting edge as cutting-edge gets.”

“Shortages of toilet paper mean it is now strictly rationed.”

“Cannot find the money to import real potatoes, so instead it serves a cardboard tasting substitute.”

“For all the toothpaste on display, there are no toothbrushes.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Frankie throws Esther out, again. Darren and Nancy are impassive. Nancy won’t take responsibility. Will menaces Cindy.

~
Cleared out a tape from 1997. First up is the 1991 movie ‘Popcorn’ which is a tonally deranged, largely maligned flop horror. It may have been filmed in 1989 and delayed but I liked it. Dee Wallace plays the heroines idiot mother. This aspires to quality but doesn’t quite get there. Maggie the heroine has a mystifyingly tolerant attitude to her cheating patronising jerk boyfriend Mark. There is an irritable conceit about the killer’s disguises. Barry Jenner who was Admiral Ross on ‘Star Trek Deep Space Nine’ was in one of the films within the film.

Film nerd Toby (Tom Villard who died in 1994) is actually a raving loony who induces no dread shudders. There are inexplicable musical numbers. Nothing works in Act III. People tell flat out lies and there are cute picture credits. The killer has a back-story and motives that make no sense. There is bad acting and Toby kills inarticulate buffoon Leon with an exploding toilet. Toby is obvious to Joanie’s love and there are tonal changes. Toby waves a huge remote control and has a wall of crazy. There is a convenient exposition spouting landlord and this film had the tagline: Buy A Bag, Go Home In A Box.

This has some similarities to the first three ‘Scream’ movies. The ending however is unflinchingly awful as the killer is dispatched in ludicrous fashion. There are stupid final lines and when Toby is dead, you can see where his make up job stops. This was supposed to have a special edition DVD release in 2012 which never happened. The cover of the proposed 2012 DVD was rank.

Best Lines:
“My my my and what are you two doing all alone in the dark?”

“Why Maggie?”
“To finish the film.”

“I’m sorry.”
“Oh? Are you?”

“This is your work!”

“You’re crazy.”
“What? It’s just dawned on you?”

“I caught em in the dark and they were going at it.”

“I could have done that.”

“When it screams our feature beams.”

“Normal family stuff.”

“Nasty Suzanne! Nasty Suzanne and her nasty gun!”

“Miss pretty skin.”

“Yelling and screaming all night long at the top of his lungs.”

“Guy’s a god dam lunatic.”

“Guy can’t paint either.”

“Hate this movie!”

“Bitching makeup dude!”

“And you thought Iron Maiden was a heavy metal band.”

“Who put this junk on?”

Then there was an ‘X Files’ ep ‘The Blessing Way’ in which the brilliant cliff-hanger of ‘Anasazi’ was ’resolved’. Skinner annoys. Floyd Red Crow Westerman, Melinda McGraw, Nicholas Lea, John Neville and Jerry Hardin guest star. Lies are perpetuated, men smoke, Smoking Man has no maudlin miasma about Mulder being ’dead’, Mulder’s survival is improbable and he is comatose. There is speechifying, mansplaing, Scully discovers the chip in her neck, huge mobile phones are waved and Krycek shoots Scully’s sister dead. This was miserably insipid.

Best Line:
“The Mulder problem.”

Then came another ‘X Files’ ep ‘Paper Clip’ in which Mulder’s back, everyone points guns at everyone else and smoochie pie Mulder struts. The Lone Gunmen bore, mumbo jumbo is uttered and this was soulless, unlikely and empty. There is a giant filing system, a spaceship, stupid names, 90s hair and a gratuitous close up of Krycek’s ass. This was all mawkishness.

Best Lines:
No personal choice.”

“The truth is in there.”
Tags: heroes, profit, psych, tape tales, the tudors, thoughts, trailers, xfiles
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