Pilot
Walter O’Brien our ‘hero’ strikes poses whilst telling us how clever he is. Also his Irish accent seems to have vanished. The arrogant awful hero, vanishing Irish accent, US invasion of Irish airspace and Justin Lin direction are only some of the problems of this awful show. Robert Patrick plays a Homeland Security agent who recruits annoying tech types to save the world. Ernie Hudson has a thankless guest role.
Walter patronises people and tells a woman how to parent her child. The annoying tech types are moral arbiters and shout down walkie talkies. They also sob story and the plot twists are ridiculous. There is no justifiable rationale for this show’s existence. Walter scorns everyone. This show is worse than useless. It was hollow and meaningless. Walter consigns everything to ruin with his monstrous ego. I have venomous contempt for him and this unimaginably foul show. This was dire and I’m done. This was ‘based on a true story’ allegedly but the lisping mush mouth actors, the presence of Katharine McPhee and Eddie Kaye Thomas and Walter’s monstrous boasting being enabled by his equally awful friends made me not care.
Best Lines:
“I will erase you.”
“Pipe down Rainman.”
“A blood soaked spleen could burn at a lower rate.”
“Be decent.”
“He’s challenged, have some empathy.”
“We’re running out of road.”
“Which month has 28 days?”
“All of them.”
“A textbook panic response.”
~
Pilot
Wes Gibbins attends Criminal Law 100 which is taught by the hard as nails Annalise Keating. Flashforwards show how Wes and three fellow classmates murdered someone and are frantically trying to cover it up. In the present the shifty Keating defends an assistant/mistress accused of attempting to kill her boss. The inept Gibbins tries to stay in class with the awful people.
A college student is missing and is later found dead in a water tank. Law school is a blood sport. Gibbins has an annoying neighbour. Keating has a secret and a bearded toady sexist sidekick. Everyone is awful but they get the assistant/mistress who was in fact guilty off by lying and discrediting. This was okay and I’ll stick with it. I am intrigued.
Best Lines:
“I do believe there are stupid questions.”
“I’m going to stand here and not see anything.”
“Podunk trailer trash.”
“Step up your game.”
“Chubby paralegals.”
“Get out. I can’t think with you here!”
“We won because I did my job.”
~
Ascension (2014) Night Three
The ship celebrates the Birth List which keeps the population static. The crew refer to their ancestors as the originals. Christa’s mother shows up briefly. Jackie has a malign plan. The murder is connected to the victim’s job in archives. Harris mutters about Christa. Viondra yells, people need to examine their rationale and Nora and James have more issues.
Rose wants to be captain. The very unpleasant Stokes escapes. There is shagging and Director Warren menaces. Stokes and Kruger team up. Ascension has an MRI. Vanderhaus freaks out. Jackie and Rose overextend themselves. There is betrayal and a plan to gas the Ascension crew. Christa figures out Robert. There are fist fights and something is in the reservoir. Gault goes somewhere. Christa freaks out.
A power surge on the ship causes issues. I had no substantive engagement with this ep. Harris murders someone and is plotting something. The crew of Ascension are insufficiently distraught. Harris’ sidekick is clearly incapable of making decisions. James gets to see ‘Alf’. There is no highly personal drama. People are disrespectful and ungrateful. The ship’s nuclear reactor powers the star field. Stokes has no elegant melancholy. Ascension’s chronic instability is clear. This was meandering and aimless yet okay in places. Ascension is boarded, Rose rants and Stokes runs. This ends on a sort of cliffhanger.
Best Lines:
“As fate would allow.”
“Look away, look away.”
“Your stunning lack of restraint.”
“It’s cost us dearly.”
“Old school eugenics.”
“The ship landed?”
“You never left.”
“Until my retirement squad arrives.”
“There’s a cost for failure.”
“Completely sealed with a double hull. This thing was designed to take the direct impact of an asteroid.”
“It’s a delicate ecosystem.”
“Bad people like you?”
“They’re going to space.”
“It came from that ship.”
“The star child must be born.”
“To ensure the illusion would never be shattered no matter what happened on the outside.”
“The stars will dim.”
“The litany of what you don’t know is too long to list.”
“Too busy being bent over the massage table.”
“Going full Snowden.”