As Above So Below (2014)
The only way out is down.
A documentary/found footage tale. Scarlett hunts ancient artefacts in the dark and via shaky cam finds a clue to the philosopher’s stone. It’s under Paris so the urban archaeologist decides to go find it with some sidekicks including love interest George (Ben Feldman). Scarlett has no sense of boundaries and wanders around the Paris catacombs on a treasure hunt. It is the largest crypt in the world and they have no coherent strategy. This was better than ’The Pyramid’. Weird stuff happens, there is a fun scene involving celestial spheres and this was okay. The gang are incredibly unfortunate as disastrous events keep happening to them. There is blood, teeth in the floor, witches, demons, ghosts, visions, death, a revelation, hell and magic. I enjoyed this.
“His quest was a path to madness.”
“They all wind up dead.”
“We just broke into a church.”
“Jail. In Turkey!”
“Hearing their church bells ring for the first time in 284 years.”
“You don’t want to breathe this in.”
“I’m not climbing over bones.”
“Before or after Copernicus?”
“Is that bad? Is that bad?”
“That is bad.”
“You have to take the exact right stone from the exact right place. Or...”
“Or what? Or what?”
“Or the ceiling will collapse on you and kill you.”
“Stand way the f##k back.”
Shrek Forever After (2010)
Shrek is tired of his family and fame so makes a magic deal. He wakes up in an AU which is way more interesting than the real world. Puss in Boots is fat, Fiona is interesting again, a Golden Goose has teeth and there are gay jokes. This was dull.
“Get your mob on!”