epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Trailers, Quotes and a 2000 Tape Tale

‘Cockroaches’ trailer
ITV2 have made a sitcom about a couple who survived the end of the world and how hang out with stout lumpy existentially morose unhygienic drunk slutty idiots. This looks ridic.

Best Lines:
“In 20 minutes bombs will hit.”

“Are you all morons?”

‘Murder In The First’ trailer
It’s basically a remake of ‘Murder One’. An insufferable tech genius is connected to the murder of an artfully arranged nude woman. This stars Taye Diggs, Kathleen Robertson, Tom Felton, Ian Anthony Dale, Steven Weber and James Cromwell. This looks okay.

Best Line:
“It could have been almost anyone.”

‘A Most Violent Year’ TV spot

‘Kingsman: The Secret Service’ TV spot
Oh yeah!

‘Cyberbully’ promo

‘Supernatural’ 9x02 promo

‘Catastrophe’ promo

‘Indian Summers’ promo
Looks okay.

Best Lines:
“Why are they here?”
“To rule.”

“We seek self rule!”

‘Devious Maids’ season 2 promo

I will review 'Property of a Lady Faire', 'Hungry Ghosts', 'Survivor', 'The Best Horror of the Year 7', 'Get Dirty', 'The Albino's Treasure', 'Sword & Mythos' and 'Armageddon's Arrow'.

Alice Eve of ‘Star Trek: Into Darkness’ is the daughter of Trevor Eve?

Kevin Spacey won Best Actor in a TV drama for ‘House of Cards’ at the Golden Globes!

Read amazing 'Hannibal' casting info.

I am reading ‘Sustenance’.

I am thinking of dropping ‘Stalker’.

‘Raising Hope’ was originally called ‘Keep Hope Alive’. Hee.

‘The Next Step’ is a great hulking void.

Saw a programme on BBC2 about a flooded Bangkok mall full of fish.

Bulgur wheat, tomato & parsley salad with a lemon & mint oil dressing - okay.

‘Raising Hope’ Quotes:
“Someone moved into the weirdo house?”
“Isn’t this the weirdo house?”
“No. This is the lovable eccentric house.”

“A mute would be ideal.”

“Everyone I know is just born here and doesn’t have the energy to leave.”

“The real police won’t come here anymore because you already hit your 911 quota.”

“A one way trip. To death.”

“She’ll be gone a while. To death.”

“I’m almost never right.”

“She didn’t mention anything about all my drooling.”

“That slut-whore.”

“That Christmas movie where everyone was better off without him.”

“Her mother beat someone to death with a candlestick.”

“Who’s dead? Besides everyone I’ve ever loved.”

“Remember when you went down to the video store cos you wanted to return ‘Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach’?”
“Yeah. They didn’t want that video back.”

A 5th sequel that was so bad even Steve Guttenberg refused to be in it.”

“Have you tried blowing in the other end?”

“I for one am prepared to put on a bee costume and chant profanity.”

“This crystal math teacher.”

“All the fun of Mexico without worrying about getting your head cut off.”

“All that screaming has to work. Can’t imagine that they’re not annoyed by this.”

“You dirty liberals!”

“An act of idiocy.”

“You’re going to be the first one to betray our race when the apes take over.”

‘Teen Mom 2’ Quotes:
“Mom step away.”

“A female crocodile protecting their young.”

“My bloodline.”

“He got arrested, again.”

‘Faking It’ Quotes:
“I’ve access to your toothbrush.”

“Reeks of the late 90s.”

“Chugging jugs of hand sanitizer.”

“She called me a communist.”

‘Supernatural’ Quotes:
“Things go ‘Breaking Bad’.”

“Why not ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ his ass?”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: the opening credits have been changed. Who are all the newbies? Dirk and Dr S’avage are together. Patrick looks ominous. Joe looks hot but where is the whore Lindsey? This show is replete with implausibility. Dodger is finally rescued, Sienna escapes, Patrick keeps Maxine prisoner and Robbie steals cars for Trevor. Freddie is a lying thug and Lindsey covers up for him. Sienna hides from the cops in the most obvious place. Patrick torments Maxine. Darren is thick and Dirk visits Will in jail. Will is not paralysed, has a beard and loathes Dodger.

Cleared out a 2000 tape. It began with an ‘X Files’ ep ‘The Goldberg Variation’ which was a ‘comedy’ in which a man is gifted with luck. The tracking was off. The mafia are after luck man. There is a sick kid (Shia LaBeouf) and this was terrible.

Best Lines:
“We found part of him already.”

“My ass broke the fall.”

“Not hiding, avoiding.”

“Technically falling 300 feet and surviving isn’t a crime.”

Then came a ‘G Vs E’ ep 'Buried' in which Chandler is buried alive. This show had terrible opening credits. The tracking was off. Nobody said anything interesting. This looks 70s. The below par scripts doomed this show. This had violence and was appallingly messy.

Then came a ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Superstar’ in which Jonathan is the temporary god-king of Sunnydale due to a spell. The opening credits are altered. The tracking is off. These were the least eloquent characters ever, they never said anything real. Why has nobody staked Spike? Riley takes his shirt off. There was a disparity with the critical praise heaped on this show and the display of limited talent on the wane. Adam the villain who never filled anyone with dread monotones. Adam had cheap looking make up. This show never took advantage of Danny Strong. Buffy wears a leopard print jacket. Buffy cared more about frenching Riley than befriending Jonathan.

Best Line:
“You’re the evil messiah guy.”

“He invents the internet.”

“Xander don’t speak Latin in front of the books.”

Then came an ‘Angel’ ep ‘Eternity’ in which Wesley is inflicted on the viewer. Angel protects a TV star (Tamara Gorski of ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’). She pants over him and figures out he’s a vampire. Survival is not an option, it’s mandatory. Or something.

Best Lines:
“They’re paid to care.”

“You’re just trying to scare me.”
“Is it working?”
Tags: breaking bad, buffy the vampire slayer, devious maids, hannibal, house of cards, stalker, star trek, supernatural, tape tales, thoughts, trailers, xfiles
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