The War Of The Worlds (1953)
You can see the strings holding the Martian war machines up. Okay but unfaithful.
The Fast And The Furious (2000)
The Transporter (2002)
A dissatisfying anticlimactic tale of weary men and awfulness.
Honey I Blew Up The Kid (1992)
Dead Again (1991)
Reincarnation vagueness and the monotonous existential hell of being rich.
Murder By Numbers (2002)
No indelible characters in this mired in complacency puerility.
Grosse Pointe Blanke (1997)
Private Benjamin (1980)
Goldie Hawn and her self help platitudes.
The Matrix (1999)
Has paled into insignificance.
Jagged Edge (1985)
Unsensational defiant blandness.
Basic Instinct (1992)
A Jabba The Hut type is not killed by Sharon Stone. Tiresome.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
No dexterity or wit in this.
Marie Antoinette (2006)
A pretty over detailed take on off-duty hedonism.
The Exorcist (1973)
An epically shoutycrackers mess that leaves one psychotically bored.
There’s Something About Mary (1998)
Cats bum faced men are loopy and messianic over Mary and this film is overly pleased with itself.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Johnny Depp makes faces like he has a savage case of piles.
Children of Men (2006)
Manically focused and okay.
Horrible moral choices and Marky Mark has a predilection for anger.
Thelma and Louise (1991)
No sense of caring.
Urban problems and the inconvenient presence of cocaine bring down the narrator.
The Cable Guy (1996)
Formalised cinematic misery with a wonderful Eric Roberts cameo.
A point of earnest despair.
Sleeping With The Enemy (1991)
Carried away with its own importance.
The Pelican Brief (1993)
Infantile whining and unirionically schmaltzy.
Con Air (1997)
The loud genre.
St Trinians (2007)
A worthless chore about ghastly snake teenagers.
Iron Man (2008)
Desperate for indie hipness. This is strident, overblown and the hero does three emotions and makes silly speeches.