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Book Reviews: The Haunted House + Cthulhu Lives!, part 2

The Haunted House by Jen Prenkowski
This pop up book was originally published in 1979 and is a classic. It is a loving depiction of a horror house with a saw, creepy paintings, a weird attic, creatures in the kitchen, a thing in the bathroom, a creepy bed and a thing under the stairs.

~
Cthulhu Lives! edited by Salome Jones, part 2

On The Banks Of The River Jordan
The secrets of a suburban park are told in the soppiest tones of impending doom. This degrades.

Dark Water
A man uses his brohurt as an excuse to kill his girlfriend. Not sensibly constructed and dreadful in every way.

Ink
A short tale of art. There is no multifacededness present in this shallow, lacklustre and haphazardly constructed chaotic tale.

Demon In Glass
A 19th century photographer goes on about his doctrine of aesthetic functionality. This eschews sense and is hysterical multi-climactic filled pap.

Scales From Balor’s Eye
A man looks into family history with righteous idealism. This was nonchalantly dull.

Best Line:
“Milk that tastes like water because the full-fat is ’bad’ for you.”

Of The Faceless Crowd
Stultified inaccessible crap.

Scritch, Scratch
The village has always had a rat catcher, until now. There’s something malicious in the woods. This is an excellent beguiling tale of intense discomfort, hopelessness and social conditioning.

Best Lines:
“People with gleaming teeth began to use ominous phrases such as “development plan” and “diversification of revenue streams”.”

“Their non-threatening colourful ties.”

Icke
A boy fishes with undisguised relish while dealing with psychological violence. Boring.

Coding Time
A techie is immersed in his work until he realises his megalomaniacal boss has taking leveraging intellectual properties in a whole new/old direction. Mediocre.

Best Lines:
“In Egypt they called me ‘Lord and Master’, in a language that no living man still speaks.”

“They’re not the enemy! We are!”

The Thing In The Printer
The college weirdo uses a 3D printer for disturbing ventures. Excellent.

The Old Ones
A man visits his former teacher in a nursing home and learns what his ‘mentor’ really is. Very funny and excellent.

Best Line:
“I figured I’d put my walk-in closet to good use by making it a portal to another dimension. It took a few tries to get the incantation right.”

Visiting Rights
A boy is unhappy about his parents’ separation and his mother’s new boyfriend. But there’s a twist. Excellent.

Best Lines:
“Mum does everything anxiously.”

“I can sit on my own stairs, can’t I?”

The Highland Air
A man’s malefic son causes strife. Ugh.
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