epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1985 - 1989) 3x09 + Arrow 3x05 + Reign 1x18 Reviewed

If Looks Could Kill
Katherine (Michelle Phillips of ‘Knot’s Landing’) has plastic surgery to resemble the lost love of a wealthy man named David (Duncan Regehr of ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’). David and Katherine like each other but he is obsessed with his 'lost love' Anna (Andrea Roth of ‘The Club’ and ‘‘Ringer‘). Katherine is bored of her husband and life. So she gets magical plastic surgery to look just like Anna. She goes to David’s mansion whilst he is drinking and unveils herself to him. Scare chords play and David’s crazy. He whips out a gun. Katherine doesn’t run. There is death, a twist involving Katherine’s secretary Kelly (‘Prom Night II: Hello Mary Lou’) and an utterly blasé reaction at the funeral. The real Anna shows up to gloat. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Photos, photos, all of her.”

“You gave em one.”

“Everything you want and everything you wanted before.”

“I’d lie in his bed and hate her with all my heart.”

“Your first love and your last!”

The Secret Origin of Felicity Smoak
There is a fine line between charming and irritating, Felicity crossed that line long ago. Something is up with Roy. Thea and Laurel train. Ray babbles. Felicity brushes her teeth and drinks coffee. Felicity’s mother shows up and is disrespected by her ungrateful brat. Thea rents a loft with Malcolm Merlyn’s money. Thea and Oliver don’t care about Tommy. Thea is selfish. Brother Eye causes a blackout. Felicity is an eye rolling snoot. Malcolm Merlyn stares.

Laurel yells and her extensions twitch. Felicity isn’t appreciative. Did Roy kill Sara? Oliver yells. Felicity needs a slap and accuses her mother of dressing like a porn star. Felicity dresses like a porn star and doesn’t wear a bra. Felicity is arrogant and DNA is not worth this. Felicity and her mother are in peril. There is ranting and a wifi watch saves the day. This was okay despite the sap and obvious baddie. Flashbacks to five years ago give Felicity’s back-story of being a Goth hacker and her idiot boyfriend Cooper. I don’t care about the vagaries of Felicity’s past and her hysteria. Felicity changed her personality overnight and I wish she'd go away.

Best Lines:
“Smart wearables.”

“You escalated it Laurel!”

“Tell me you’re not boozing again.”

“Secrets hurt.”

“I drive a hybrid! It’s blue!”

“Advantageous for me to be dead.”

“I flew some motivation into town.”

“Who worked 60 hour weeks in 6 inch heels for tips.”

No Exit
Lola is married, Kenna whines, Henri showboats and Francis peacocks. Moray - Mary’s bastard half-brother - shows up. Catherine is determined to alleviate Penelope’s influence. Mary is asked to make an intervention in Scotland. Francis has grudgingly lost unity with his wife. Nostradamus has politically toxic visions. Amour propre. The squalid Penelope wants it all and Henri has lost all care and socialisation. Catherine and Kenna plot. Kenna is tempted by commodity aesthetics. Francis has deep reserves of self pity. Lola suspects her husband, which is a grim overture to marriage.

Nostradamus wants out. Catherine is erosive. Francis makes ultimate positional demands causing a precipitous decline in Mary’s love. TPTB sanctify the kitsch and cloying. Penelope prances, Francis goads, Nostradamus has privations, Henri has quirks and incongruities whilst Mary is tantrummy and screeching. Mary’s suffocating self importance shows how Moray would have been a better King of Scotland. Francis has facetiousness, Lola won’t hand over her dowry, the unremitting Penelope oversteps, Olivia leaves and Mary is locked in tower. Well she better get used to that. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“This is blasphemy!”
“Then close your eyes!”

“I see no righteousness here.”

“We’re married, we can’t be unmarried.”

“There’s a Queen Mary on this coin, but not my Queen Mary.”

“You’d be rotting by now.”

“We fund her troubles.”

“A plan to get rid of her.”

“The years have been long and dark.”

“Sad old habits.”
Tags: 1980s horror anthologies, arrow, reign

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