‘Stalker’ 1x03 trailer
No.
‘Paddington’ trailer
A sap-fest.
‘Dumb and Dumber To’ trailer
The sequel nobody asked for.
‘The Woman In Black: Angel of Death’ trailer
No.
‘Mordaci’ trailer
Go away Johnny Depp.
‘Horrible Bosses 2’ trailer
Just no.
‘Jurassic World’ teaser
Okay, I’m interested.
‘Puppy Surprise’ (1991) ad
A pink dog has an unknown number of puppies preloaded in her womb.
Best Lines:
“Puppy Surprise is having puppies!”
“How many?”
“That’s the surprise!”
‘Puppy Surprise’ (2014) ad
The ad is throwback and the dog looks skanky.
Best Line:
“They look like their mommy!”
‘Black Sea’ TV spot
Divers find a u-boat full of gold. Dirty looking, death and greed. No.
‘Horrible Bosses 2’ TV spot
“You’re all morons!”
After Eights - okay.
Hot Chorizo - okay.
Organic olive oil - nice.
Pineapple - nice.
Turkey, sage and onion stuffing wrapped in smoked streaky bacon with pomegranate, Clementine and cranberry glaze - good.
Choux pastries filled with sea salted caramel cream topped with chocolate sauce and sprinkled with salted caramel - good.
Puff Pastry tarts filled with a sweet vanilla crème patissiere and decorated with a silver sugar glitter - very good.
Organic Brie - nice.
Blood Orange chocolate - divine.
The ‘Small World: Underground’ game sounds amusing. The ‘Labyrinth’ game looks good but the ‘Monster High’ dolls look ho-ish.
Sean Bean is to star in ITV’s ‘The Frankenstein Chronicles’?
There is to be a four film version of ‘The Stand’? Sure.
I won’t review ‘Forever’ 1x08 ‘The Ecstasy of Agony’; in fact I think I’m done with the show.
I will review ‘Games of Cages’.
In 2015 there will be ‘Ant-Man’, ‘Terminator: Genisys’, ‘The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Poltergeist’ and ‘Mission Impossible 5’. Sigh.
I wonder why that old TV show ‘The Streets of San Francisco’ was never made into a movie?
Laurie Penny Quote:
“To stop waiting to be rewarded for good behaviour.”
‘Alien Nation’ Quotes:
“I could get you an interactive holographic sex partner.”
“Bonded in eternal monogamy.”
“Your damn squirrel nuggets.”
“We don’t bonk Matthew we hum.”
“Flying rats.”
“Since we are getting anatomically personal here.”
“Shut up and eat your muskrat.”
“Sloth!”
“That you take your college tuition money and buy this cheap hotel on wheels with a nutball named Thor!”
‘The X Files’ Quotes:
“Formerly known as Mr Tippy.”
“This is called rumour panic, it’s when an antecedent event links up with a popular satanic cult myth and it increases the tension in a community.”
‘Father Ted’ Quotes:
“We’ll sleep outside in a ditch!”
“The kraken wakes!”
“Arse biscuits.”
“The view from the window of that great pit of sludge!”
‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“This doesn’t sound like a homicidal maniac to me.”
“Why did he walk into the apartment with an open knife?”
“A volatile toxic couple.”
“They denied us any contact.”
“Separation assault.”
"Social and emotional issues."
"You are writing on the slate of who they are."
‘Awkward’ Quotes:
“Drift into Amanda Bynesville.”
‘Cuckoo’ Quotes:
“That is mountain goat, they live on mountain. You not saving him. You just chasing him.”
“Yes mountain goat!”
“Sorry, I disown you.”
“I met this really sweet little community who sleep on benches behind the station.”
“You’d be living with tramps?”
“Nice people and boy can they drink.”
“This does sound culty.”
“We always have to go in pairs in case anyone tries to escape.”
"Picks his wife for the day.”
“Get in the car you weirdo.”
‘It Was Alright In The 1970’s’ Quotes:
“Knicker pink rayon.”
“Gay clothing.”
“Get back dirty beasts.”
“Nasty vicious rumours.”
“Absolutely impressionable.”
“You’d only be in the way.”
‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“Until you graduate to the penal system.”
“I have an app for that.”
“We’re in hell? Cool!”
“Toothheads. Scream torsos.”
“Your hell pass.”
“Causing more screaming.”
“Aquarium underwear.”
“That’s super-hell.”
“Not my Schmoo!”
“Eye groining.”
“All slow motion like.”
“Sex view blockers.”
“The power of Chrysler compels you!”
“That was unmotivated.”
“I’m not bitter yet.”
“I’m the last of The Simpsons!”
“In IQ only!”
On ‘Hollyoaks’: the cops find blood on the McQueen kitchen floor and Freddie is within seconds arrested for the murder of Mercedes. This happens seconds before he and Lindsey tell Joe of their fornication. TPTB have turned Lindsey into a hateful, betraying, lying, unrepentant skank. TPTB have informed us that Dodger is leaving the show. Oh thankfully. Lindsey’s sister is as big a toe rag as her. Joe Jnr is in fact Joe’s son to the horror of Freddie and Lindsey. Grace is provoked. Sinead is pregnant with Tony’s baby. Nana McQueen calls Freddie an “Illustrated monster”