epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Bombshell 1x01 + The Flash 1x04 + Elementary 3x02 + Legends 1x10 Reviewed

Bombshell (2006) 1x01
ITV made this and never aired it. It stars hatchet face Zoe Lucker and seems to have been a career killer for her. This has terrible opening credits, women mumbling, bad acting, people roaming around and some sort of plot to do with the military. Nick (Jeremy Sheffield of ‘Hollyoaks’) kicks a grenade away and nearly dies. His wife is awful. A chav, a sex worker and a shoplifting spiv join the army. Nick recovers and looks good in uniform. There are posh accents, Zoe Lucker shows off her brunette hair dye and Nick’s wife makes stank face. This was terrible with bad dialogue. Six more episodes were made but I won’t bother. Even ‘Making Waves’ which ITV yanked after about two episodes must have been better than this.

Best Lines:
“Another dimwit.”

“To save some stupid little tank girl.”

“Shove it up your arse.”

“Poverty’s our lot until daddy’s a General.”

“Casualty of marriage.”

Going Rogue
Wentworth Miller has un-retired from acting and he is the sole highlight of this appalling episode. Barry Allen smugs, Iris starts a blog and Felicity shows up. Leonard Snart (Miller) steals, Felicity blabbers irreverently while Snow and Cisco are idiots. Joe is awful and full of hateful terminology. Snart is stone cold. Felicity dresses like a pole dancer for trivia night.

Wells shows anger at the moronic Cisco’s latest moronic stunt. He built a weapon to take down Barry. The Flash costume looks like BDSM cosplay. Cisco is a tool. Joe emotionally blackmails Iris and is sexist. Cisco never learns a salutary lesson. Will TPTB stop sanctifying Barry? This was an off balance ep. Cisco nicknames Snart Captain Cold.

This was terrible being all sap and no learning. Captain Cold gets away. Barry is really smug and dumb despite not achieving anything. Does STAR Labs make any non-toxic products? Cisco needs to die for his internecine idiocy. Wells isn’t sinister and Dominic Purcell’s voice makes a cameo appearance.

Best Lines:
“It also gave me friends.”

“This isn’t even remotely anatomically correct.”

“I’m just going to walk away now.”

“If you’re out, you’re out.”

“Don’t Instagram that.”

“Your shoes are smoking!”

“Quiet is good.”

“What can it do?”
“Bad stuff.”

“Pride and Padawans.”

“Really bad diarrhoea.”

“You want to end up like that door?”

“This is actually the STAR labs vacuum cleaner.”

The Five Orange Pipz
A poison toy recall leads to murder. Kitty over-reacts. Joan is jealous of Kitty and Kitty is jealous of Joan. Holmes is annoying and mumbles. Joan is not deeply tasteful. Bell is exposition spouting. Holmes yells, Kitty feels demoted and Holmes is insufferable. Hasn’t he tainted his reputation enough? No, Holmes reveals Kitty’s back-story to Watson and the murder plot is solved in ridiculous fashion. I hate these people and this show and I’m done. Especially since Stuart Towsned is joining the show in 2015.

Best Lines:
“You’re not making this easy.”
“Why should I?”

“I never guess. It’s a shocking habit. Destructive to the logical faculties.”

“Like he see the devil.”

“Now you’re insulting me. Get out.”

“So limiting on a cognitive basis.”

Sonia’s real name is Sarah; Martin doesn’t know that and may never. Will there be a season 2? There are mysterious tattoos, flashbacks reveal plot points, Rice is a tool, the plot pivots, Martin beseeches and uncovers a legend beneath the legend. There are WMD, stolen money and a false flag operation. There are revelations, a set up and betrayal. Crystal is a terrible FBI agent, Maggie does little and it is all about perception. There is a ranting cover up, Martin is disavowed all around and DCO is gone. This was okay with a depressing end. Season 2? I think so.

Best Lines:
“The plan continues apace.”

“Sovereignty is reserved for those with the means to dictate outcomes.”

“Evil traitors hiding within.”

“Should have seen it coming.”

“I’m highly sceptical of that.”

“Pacification founds.”

“Died with honour.”

“We beat the truth out of you.”

“The ones that didn’t exist.”

“War means profit. Chaos means profit.”

“Get out of here as far as you can go.”

“I say again: broken arrow.”

“You’re just a bunch of thieves.”

“Controlling belief.”

“He is a shadow.”

“I define belief.”
Tags: elementary, flash, legends, review

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