epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

The Flash 1x03 + The Missing 1x03 + Legends 1x09 + Arrow 3x03 + The Blacklist 2x06 Reviewed

Things We Can’t Outrun
This had bad acting, bad CGI gas and the smug glory hound Barry bemoaning that Iris isn’t having sex with him. Joe annoys and Cisco says they should imprison metahumans in the particle accelerator. Wasn’t the particle accelerator in ruins back in 1x01? Barry is always trying it on. Joe watches Henry Allen’s old interrogation tape and has a general contemptuous disdainful attitude. Rent-a-quote-merchant Iris is ghastly and boring.

There is a flashback to the night the particle accelerator blew up showing the ‘death’ of Snow’s moronic fiancé Ronnie (Robbie Amell of ‘The Tomorrow People’) and some weirdness with floating champagne. The idiot Cisco caused Ronnie’s death but there is no sign of any ethical or moral fallout.

When at some point Barry and Wells fall out with finality, Wells could win by stealing Barry’s hair products. There is unsubtle foreshadowing and Barry yells and makes constipated faces. The salient point is that sulky Barry is a himbo. A vengeful con named Nimbus kills people. There is sap as Joe finally visits Henry. Barry is all interventionist. Joe’s misbehaviour deserves admonishment but nobody gives him any. The wacky world of Joe’s morals, population zero. Is Joe the only cop in Central City? There is dull surprise acting in this nebulous ep and a reveal that Wells knew the accident would happen.

Best Lines:
“It took the jury 52 minutes to come back with a verdict of guilty.”

“This is going to hurt, a lot.”

“The potheads and the crazies.”

“I didn’t want him to be a hero. I wanted him to be my husband.”

“To what do I owe this visit?”

“Do not breathe him in.”

“We’re just supposed to get used to working above a makeshift prison housing evil people with superpowers.”

“See you soon Barry.”

The Meeting
In the present day, the younger cop is in jail and the emotional fallout for Emily goes on. While in 2006 Tony’s violent past made him a person of interest as the journalist stirred crap. Tony beat up Emily’s friend Greg because he suspected an affair. Tony had deep discomfort and lied. He was also his own worst enemy and his account of Oliver’s disappearance couldn’t be substantiated. So suspicions inevitably arose. An undercover cop brought up the possibility of sex trafficking.

In the present there is muttering about something happening again. Also the horrible journalist stalks and looms. Emily goes to France only for Tony to insult her and be vociferously awful to her. Tony is wildly unpopular as the town went into an economic slump due to Oliver’s disappearance. Tony is thankless and violent. Someone dies, there is a car crash and a videotape of a World Cup party from 2006 reveals something. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“You must believe me about this.”

“I know what you are.”

“Are you sure you want to see this?”

“It’s amazing to put a man in hospital and never see the inside of a police station.”

“Answer his questions.”

“I had hoped those parasites would be dead by now.”

“Your utter inability to ever let anything go.”

“If you’d been paying attention our son wouldn’t be gone!”

Wilderness Of Mirrors
Martin’s family are in peril cue gratuitous violence and implausible plotlines. Martin wants redress so there is enhanced interrogation and dull surprise acting. It all comes back to a think tank that owns a private military contractor named Verax. Martin learns his recollections are real and that his boss and wife constructed the whole ‘Martin’ legend. Connotations are made clear. Crystal looks up her dad and learns of corruption and a planned new world order. Martin confronts his lying wife and learns secrets before she dies in a gunfight. Cue sap. Sadly this was a yawner of an episode.

Best Lines:
“You don’t fight like a housewife.”

“Let’s call it a cover up.”

“A disgrace.”

“You must need something.”

“Domestic assassinations.”

“These people don’t use names.”

“A private CIA.”
“And a private military and a policy group.”

Corto Maltese
Felicity shows side-boob and goes to work for Ray at Queen Consolidated. The bony irritating Laurel meets a shirtless oiled up fighter named Ted Grant. No-one mentions Tommy. Thea and Oliver reunite and he admires her new haircut. Laurel mentions Coast City and learns something in AA. Diggle does boring stuff. Roy approaches Thea who doesn’t want to be protected with secrets and lies. Flashbacks show how Malcolm trained Thea by beating her up.

Laurel tries to beat up an abuser and gets put in the hospital. Oliver tells Thea about Robert’s suicide but not that he killed someone else first. Oliver turns a hotel room into an arsenal. This was tiresome. Oliver won’t help Laurel. Ray looks up advanced weapons. Nyssa shows up. Sara obsesses over Sara’s leather jacket asks the shirtless sweaty Ted Grant to teach her to fight. I’ve seen the photos of Laurel in her Black Canary get up and am not impressed.

Best Lines:
“You reached first.”

“What’s up with your family and islands?”

“That’s what my Glock is for.”

“Some wacko blew it up last year.”

“Thea Merlyn.”

“Are we favour friends now? Are we friends?”

“Pathological sincerity.”

“We both lied to her. A lot.”

The Mombasa Cartel (no. 114)
Liz is keeping a hairy Tom chained and locked in a basement. Are we supposed to sympathise with her and ill offices? Red gets Liz to look into animal poaching but naturally has an agenda. A rich eccentric (Peter Fonda) has a dark side. A weirdo (Carel Struycken of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’) kills people. Liz has the motel plant arrested. Red wanders around in public not being recognised. Ressler is a prescription pill addict and nobody notices. Ressler is in peril. Eartags are worn and this was terrible.

Best Lines:
“Dress down.”

“Useful idiots.”

“The smallest of cogs in a very large machine.”

“A fairytale bestiary written in past tense.”
Tags: arrow, flash, legends, review, the blacklist

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