Saving Silverman (2001)
This succinctly sexist mess is full of product placement and ‘stars’ Jason Biggs, Jack Black and Amanda Peet. This movie is also known as ‘Evil Woman’ to show its full misogynistic credentials. A trio of beer drinking slobs do a Neil Diamond cover band and then Darren (Biggs) meets Judith (Peet) and gets to date her via harassment. She makes him give her pleasure and tells him to ditch his moronic loser friends. So she’s evil naturally. This was vile.
Best Lines:
“If you get any urges that you can’t suppress with hard liquor.”
“Take it away!”
“Pull your pants up or no more ‘Matlock’.”
~
Abduction (2011)
The title of this film makes no sense. Nathan (Taylor Lautner) is a reckless parting teenager with weird parents. He fancies neighbour Karen (Lily Collins of ‘The Mortal Instruments: City of Bone’) and yaps to his shrink (Sigourney Weaver of ‘Cabin in the Woods’) about his anger issues and odd dreams. Karen and Nathan laugh over missing kid websites until Nathan finds a photo of himself. This causes him to unwittingly sets life changing events in motion.
Nathan’s changeling fantasy leads to boorish hitmen showing up and his parents are murdered. Nathan beats a guy with a poker before running off with Karen. Somehow they aren’t stopped for riding a motorbike without a helmet. A CIA agent (Alfred Molina of ‘Spiderman 2’ doing yet another fake nationality) looms. People hide behind mylar balloons. Nathan is chased by a bevy of people and I am reminded of that old ‘Stop The Pigeon’ cartoon. There is barrage of action, info dumping, intel trading and this is okay and not so bad it’s horrible as some claim. A thickly accented baddie chases Nathan around a baseball stadium during the big climax. People shout down out of date phones and Nathan gets over death and pursuit real quick.
Best Lines:
“Your mother hits harder than that.”
“Who are these people?”
“Impulsivity and rage issues.”
“Put the anger away.”
“Joining the militia group or something?”
“Who are those people living in your house?”
“Your parents are too boring to be psychos.”
“Are you my mother?”
“No.”
“Run. Don’t stop.”
“Kiss your pension goodbye.”
“I will be killing every friend you have.”
“You’re alive, that’s good.”