Charley finally notices that yeah Jerry is a killer vampire and asks Las Vegas stage magician Peter Vincent (David Tennant) for help. Peter is a Russell Brand style git who goes shirtless, wears a wig and scratches his crotch. Charley’s moronic mother (Toni Collette) doesn’t believe Jerry is a vampire even when he burns her house down via bad CGI fire.
Chris Sarandon who was the original Jerry in 1985 has a thankless cameo. Jerry shows off his CGI vamp face which looks less convincing then the 1985 one. Charley is menaced by vampire Ed. Various women are disposable. There is a fight in Peter Vincent’s penthouse. There is endorsing of dubious sexual politics. Amy is a damsel in distress which leads to a lock and load montage and then a fight in Jerry’s house. Like the psycho’s basement in the equally terrible ‘Disturbia’, Jerry’s basement is Tardis sized. Charley comes up with a way to kill Jerry which should be impressive but isn’t due to bad CGI, obvious stunt doubles and the fact he shouldn’t have survived it. Charley is rewarded for all this by finally getting to screw Amy as a misogynistic song plays. This was dreadful, shame on TPTB, shame.
“I think Ed’s going to talk to us.”
“Don’t you have some sluts to f##k?”
“You read way too much ‘Twilight’.”
“You’re on drugs dude.”
“Good cabinet work.”
“Once I thought I was being chased by carrots with machetes.”
“A psycho next door.”
“Did I kill him?”
“It’s underwhelming believe me.”
“Let’s kill something.”