epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Fright Night (2011)

This was a terrible unnecessary remake of the crappy original. Charley (Anton Yelchin) is a jerkass teenager who ditched his BFF Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse of ‘Kick-Ass’) to hang out with skanky Amy (Imogen Poots) and two druggie losers (one of whom is Dave Franco). Charley is so self-involved he fails to notice all the missing people. This was murky and not transgressive, unsettling or beautifully sinister. Charley is succinctly awful and full of pitiful ignorance. His new neighbour Jerry (Colin Farrell) moves in. Ed says Jerry is a vampire. Charley ignores Ed. Charley is awful and this prefaces me not caring. This had bad acting, gay jokes, rape jokes and rampant sexism.

Charley finally notices that yeah Jerry is a killer vampire and asks Las Vegas stage magician Peter Vincent (David Tennant) for help. Peter is a Russell Brand style git who goes shirtless, wears a wig and scratches his crotch. Charley’s moronic mother (Toni Collette) doesn’t believe Jerry is a vampire even when he burns her house down via bad CGI fire.

Chris Sarandon who was the original Jerry in 1985 has a thankless cameo. Jerry shows off his CGI vamp face which looks less convincing then the 1985 one. Charley is menaced by vampire Ed. Various women are disposable. There is a fight in Peter Vincent’s penthouse. There is endorsing of dubious sexual politics. Amy is a damsel in distress which leads to a lock and load montage and then a fight in Jerry’s house. Like the psycho’s basement in the equally terrible ‘Disturbia’, Jerry’s basement is Tardis sized. Charley comes up with a way to kill Jerry which should be impressive but isn’t due to bad CGI, obvious stunt doubles and the fact he shouldn’t have survived it. Charley is rewarded for all this by finally getting to screw Amy as a misogynistic song plays. This was dreadful, shame on TPTB, shame.

Best Lines:
“I don’t need an invitation if there’s no house.”

“I think Ed’s going to talk to us.”

“Don’t you have some sluts to f##k?”
“Actually yeah I do.”

“You read way too much ‘Twilight’.”

“You’re on drugs dude.”

“Good cabinet work.”

“Once I thought I was being chased by carrots with machetes.”

“A psycho next door.”

“Did I kill him?”

“It’s underwhelming believe me.”

“Let’s kill something.”

“You’re turning.”
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