epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Margin Call + Josie and the Pussycats + Magic Mike

Margin Call (2011)
A tale of repatrimonialisation in 2008 as people are fired it’s all difficult and that is before Peter (Zachary Quinto of ‘Heroes’, ‘Star Trek‘ and ‘Star Trek Into Darkness‘) uncovers data that shows the company is about to go down in a storm of technobabble. Jared (Simon Baker of ‘Land of the Dead’) is uncooperative. Sarah (Demi Moore) is blamed. There is swearing and Sam (Kevin Space) wants to do the right thing. This low budget drama was better than ‘Boiler Room’, ‘Wall Street’ and ‘Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps’.

The 107 year old company is doomed via projected losses. The unpleasant John and his greasy hair (Jeremy Irons) plots to prevent the company’s worth plummeting via hissing and shaking his hamster jowls. Everyone is orange and while this isn’t emotionally tense it is okay. Will (Paul Bettany) accepts the persuasive projection of ruin. It is time for merciless rationality, incomprehensibility, some salutary effects and a paucity of options. I liked this.

Best Lines:
“Don’t watch.”

“They were good at their jobs, but you were better.”

“I frankly don’t even know what is you guys do.”

“It gets ugly in a hurry.”

“That’s very deep and depressing thank you.”

“How did you spend it all?”

“I don’t wanna hear this. How do you think I’ve stuck around this place so long?”

“Considerably worse.”

“I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Do you?!?”

“This one is very ugly.”

“I understand. Hit it.”

~
Josie And The Pussycats (2001)
In this spin-off from the ‘Archie’ comics: Josie (Rachael Leigh Cook), Melody (a pre train wreck Tara Reid) and Val are a pop rock band of wannabe cool losers. After the demise of vile officious 90s style boy band Dujour (of whom the only non-crepitant member is Les(Alex Martin)) - the gang are taken on by hotshot manager Wyatt (Alan Cumming) and MegaRecords CEO Fiona (Parker Posey). Cue product placement, nonchalant comedy, cat ear hairbands and Carson Daly’s TRL being a thing. Josie has a bland love interest in Alan (Gabriel Mann of ‘Revenge’).

There are domestic violence jokes, polyester hair, 90s fashion, Josie wants her band to be exalted and then doesn’t and Wyatt is toadying and unprofessional. This was not moreish as subliminal messages are used to control the youth of America. Josie and her gang are unpleasantly sealed off from reality as they are ethereally successful and float around above the human fray infallibly protected or so they think.

This film was too po-faced and full of sneering salaciousness. It is preternaturally surreal and full of disjointed awkwardness. The characters are flat and dimesionlessness and succeed by being imperiously kooky morons without any burning ambition. This was non-compelling, non-reflective, non-mellifluous and non-transformative. This relentlessly dull film had blue eye shadow, no integrity, mocking achievements and 90s culture is derided. This flopped and didn’t redefine cinema mostly because of the self-absorbed uncharismatic gang bemoaning everything.

This was an only ab-deep tale of clashing egos, precious no-talents, betrayals, irretrievably dumb people and was a career killer for most of those involved. Everyone looks Thermaged and TPL’d to death and everyone acts totally ignorant. There is a fight and a concert and a dance party and it is all about as appealing as grout. I feel frustration with this film due to the ineptness and being inundated with cultural dictates.

Best Lines:
“Why come my limited edition Coke can has me with a goatee when everybody knows I shaved it into a soul patch for the Don’t Tell Your Poppa video?”

“First it pooed on my incense.”

“Skanky had a rock show and nobody came.”

“Enjoy the gutters Josie.”

“Bite me Bambi!”

“Make me, nose job.”

“I gotta buy a six pack of Zima.”
“Dude you don’t drink.”
“I think I should start.”

“Ever wonder why so many rock stars die in plane crashes? Overdose on drugs? We’ve been doing this a long time.”

“They are totally jerkin’.”

“Heath Ledger is the new Matt Damon.”

“The four-wheeled hell pit.”

“We managed to land the plane just fine. Unfortunately, it was in the parking lot of a Metallica show. Well, the fans beat the crap out of us.”
“Well, you don’t look too bad.”
“And I thank God every day I knew the words to Enter Sandman.”

~
Magic Mike (2012)
Mike (Channing Tatum) is a sleaze with no moral worth. He draws The Kid (Alex Pettyfer of ‘Tormented’) who is vertiginously stupid and with the IQ of mulch into his dour, loveless and unsavoury life of cynicism and stripping. At least that it what I think happened as 98% of the dialogue is mumbled. This is a not morally complex or effective tale of tawdriness and men in thongs (Matt Bomer, Adam Rodriguez, Kevin Nash and Matthew McConaughey)

The peripatetic strippers with bluff exteriors hiding dark desperation don’t engage and it is all farcical. Mike falls for The Kid’s sister Brooke (Cody Horn) for some reason. She is a seething mass of bile, criticism and classism who can‘t be mollified. This is a bro-comedy with overly tight shorts. Brooke never changes her facial expression, Mike wants to go legit and there is hedonism all around. The club is moving to Miami and the weak willed Kid does something stupid. This was a voraciously awful movie with duplicity, fiendishly awful people ranting about remuneration, incongruously stupid decisions, unreasonable behaviour and unprepossessing himbos. I don’t care about The Kid and his false self-assurance or Brooke and Mike’s obviously doomed hook up.

Best Lines:
“You got em off Craigslist didn’t you?”

“What did you say?”
“What did you hear?”

“The cougars will eat him up.”

“Watch out for herpes.”
Tags: heroes, movie review, revenge, riverdale
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