President Walker is a wussy. Underwood tries to pass the Education Bill. An old lady swears. Gillian works for Claire, Remy sniffs around and Claire has to turn down a donation. Zoë is promoted and then fired. Claire has a lover: the fugly Adam. Zoë’s ex co-worker Janine is a cow. Claire is menopausal. Peter Russo is a drug addled loser. Underwood screws Zoë. Okay.
“A fork would be nice.”
Zoë can’t see how Underwood is manipulating her. Marty the teachers’ union lobbyist swears, rants and is an inconvenience. Zoë gets a new job at Slugline. Peter Russo is sombre-toned. Tom loses his job for firing Zoë. Underwood and Zoë do creepy sexting. Why are Doug and Freddy so loyal to Underwood? Marty messes up Claire’s clean water benefit. Underwood plots about Russo and strikes back at Marty. This was good; Marty thinking he is Jimmy Hoffa is hilarious.
Player To Be Named Now
Mel Profitt’s bipolar disorder with psychotic features gets worse. Roger and Vinnie wander around Mel’s giant yacht. Joyless Vinnie has no intelligence and Roger is the worst person as he mocks Mel. Vinnie and Mel play baseball in ugly blue uniforms as gum is chewed. Mel wants to buy a baseball team. Vinnie and Susan make out. Mel smashes stuff up with a baseball bat and chokes Susan. This was mawkish with no realism or truthfulness.
Mel is deviant, Vinnie’s bosses yell insipidly and an ex girlfriend of Mel’s shows up wanting back into Mel’s inner circle. Roger talks in ridiculous fashion. Mel rants about treachery and selfishness and is smug. A building is torched, fake thunder booms, cocaine is snorted and Susan wears 80s attire. Mel has fun by shooting the place up, Vinnie stands up to Mel and his contrary opinions. This was okay; Mel is in a dark place.
“The only trouble with Mel’s depression is that he gets over it.”
“I’m fun to be around.”
“It’s 4 o’clock in the morning.”
“This place has lights.”
“It’s something he doesn’t have.”
“Everything here is mine!”
“We’ve known all of this couldn’t last, we’ve always known it. When you’re standing on top of Everest, there’s only one direction left.”
“The rich and vicious.”
“The third letter in FBI stands for investigation.”
“People at Mel’s parties tend to get naked in groups.”
“The toy was you.”
“I’m glad I didn’t have him killed when I first discovered the truth. What a waste that would have been.”
“Do what I say.”
“I want it to be dark forever.”
Hanging The Drapes
Peri is incontrovertibly awful. TPTB are not taking consumers down the marketing tunnel. Eddie is not prescient. Marisol’s meddling annoys. Remi wants to date Valentina now. Marisol gets more awful. Mr Powell tries to pimp Rosie. Taylor is pregnant. Rosie wants Spence to hit Mr Powell with a stick. Eddie’s a drug dealer. Philippe lurks and Guinevere wears spangles. Michael hurts Olivia again. Valentina gets contentious. Spence watches his cheesy soap opera to get ready to fight Mr Powell. Olivia tries to kill herself and Michael finally expresses regret for all the pain he caused her. This is not intricate and is all style over substance.
“How can I be terrified of conflict? I’m married to you!”
“It’s a lot like a spa, except for al the people crying and shaking.”
“Don’t take it out.”
“The drug addict brought me scotch!”
“I will stab you in your neck with my fork.”
“This hulking mass.”
A family are kidnapped because the husband is a Russian scientist in witness protection. The grinch faced thong tourist Troy gets shot dead. Martin misrepresents stuff. The homeless hoodie’s murder is sniffed around. Crystal moans constantly about Martin. Another undercover identity of Martin’s is whipped out. There is a cliff-hanger and Linda Park guest stars. This bored.