epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: I Love Trouble + Troll Hunter + The Incredible Hulk

I Love Trouble (1994)
This tale of duelling reporters (Nick Nolte and Julia Roberts) and a train crash and beef hormones and milk is told via outdated technology, dumb comedy and is an arduous mess.

Troll Hunter (2010)
This subtitled Norwegian found footage film about a grumpy Troll Hunter, three moron filmmakers and trolls that look like muppets crossed with John Kerry was a bore. Trolls hunt Christians and turn to stone, a dead bear is driven around in a van, a Dead Troll Form has to filled in, rabies is a plot point, pretty scenery is shown and the ending is odd.

Best Lines:
“Why problem make, when you no problem have?”

“Isn’t that strange behaviour?”
“Not for Russian bears.”

“You can’t see trolls in satellite photos.”

“Why are you so nervous?”
“I’m a Christian, we’re going to die.”

“You think a squirrel rampaged through here?”

“These may look like normal power lines but they’re electric fences to keep the trolls at bay.”

The Incredible Hulk (2008)
The fugitive Banner (Edward Norton) flees Brazil to head home to his lost love Betty Ross (Liv Tyler) whilst being chased by Betty’s mad dad and his sidekick The Abomination (Tim Roth). The Eric Bana ‘Hulk’ movie was a stiff, pompous, calamitous error and sadly this film is captious and unnecessary. Even amusing cameos can’t save it. People act in indignation-stoking ways and there is endless embroilment in silly CGI fights. Baddies are strident, Banner has unacceptable emotions, Betty’s blouse gets soaked, purple stretch pants make a good visual gag and the dad from ’Modern Family’ shows up to annoy.

Best Lines:
“Something went very wrong. Or it went very right.”

“Where’s the gunship?”

“Where does she meet these guys?”
Tags: movie review

Comments for this post were disabled by the author