epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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The Last Ship (2014 - 2018) 1x01 +The Walking Dead 4x15 +Doctor Who 8x04 + Reign 1x08 Reviewed

Phase Six
It is ‘The Burning Zone’ meets ‘Last Resort’ meets ‘Crusade’ in this Michael Bay produced drama based on a novel I’ve never read. The USS Nathan James is sent off on a mission for four months during which there is radio silence. Chandler (Eric Dane looking tired, old and ugly) and his XO (Adam Baldwin of ‘Firefly’, ‘Angel’ and ‘Chuck’) have no issue with this at first. Dr Rachel Scott (Rhona Mitra and her bony face) does science stuff in the ice. Then Russians show up (oh the stereotype) and Rachel stops being a stupid obstructionist woman to reveal that a disease is raging (oh the timing) and BTW it’s now a global pandemic. Chandler yells. Rachel yaps about how the primordial strain virus she has found in the permafrost could make a vaccine. The USS Nathan James heads home as sap and nukes fly. They loot an Italian cruise ship which has a freezer full of dead bodies and a ballroom turned hospital ward.

This show has promise but also grandiose delusions that it is better than it is. There are hints that the virus is either weaponized or escaped from a lab. Chandler decides on a new mission and a new heading. There is a stirring speech, a sense of immediacy and the crew or 99% of them concur with their captain. This was okay; I didn’t know even warships depended on fuses.

Best Lines:
“Not so charming.”

“Arctic Terns.”

“80% of the world’s population is infected.”

“The last you heard, I was Speaker of the House.”

“We have no allies. We have no enemies.”

“I said rip it!”

“Highly, highly contagious.”

“We’ll die out there.”

“We have 80 biohazard suits for 216 people.”

“The country we all hoped we were coming back to, no longer exists.”

Glen is an ass. Daryl can’t really fit in with Jeff Kober’s thrill-seeking gang. Terminus is found. This wasn’t logic-based and had no fiery instinct or calm reason or unimaginable danger. This was an annoyance; the only interesting part was an ignored message on a car window.

Best Lines:
“You cannot say for certain it isn’t what killed off the dinosaurs.”

“That there is a videogame worth a pre-order.”

“Keep things from going Darwin every couple of hours.”

“Ass end is still an end.”

“That there is a long, dark tunnel full of reanimated corpses.”

“I wouldn’t say without incident.”
“Minimal incident.”

“Walking piece of faecal matter.”

The Doctor poses and yaps, his objectionable demeanour asserts hostility. Clara is mumsy, cruel, shallow, unpleasant and inhibits empathy. Why is the grating, craven, simmering boil of nastiness Clara who whines and moans and is full of brazen, negative bilge still on this show? The Doctor has an obsession with his own angst and monsters under the bed.

Clara and the Doctor visit lil’Danny. Clara is stupid and faux liberal. This was not scary and the promo for this episode was completely inaccurate. Clara meets her possible great-grandson Orson. This was excruciatingly banal and ignominious and is a play on the last man in the world trope. Clara encounters the Doctor as a young child and his parents. Danny thumps his chest. Was there ever a monster? What was under the blanket?

Best Lines:
“Perhaps I never have.”

“If anything bites, let it.”

“By the ozone level and the drains, mid-90s.”

“I needed someone to nod.”

“How did you get in?”
“Your door must be faulty.”

“Go in peace. We won’t look.”

“Big gray-haired stick insect.”

“Nothingness forever.”

“The dark is empty now.”

“No! Not the hugging!”

Kenna tantrums. Francis has sampled Mary’s devil’s buttermilk. Everyone acts like they are in a damned hillbilly reality show. Mary I of England is dying so Henri plots to claim England for Mary Stuart. Nostradamus twitches. Mary’s fate is hinted at. There is diverse rhetoric and Mary is intemperate. She and Francis have collective self-obsession and are unprepossessing. There is a persistent narrative of Mary’s recklessness and stupidity. Catherine orders Diane to leave. There is a plot to kill Kenna. Someone ends up dead. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“She’s rattling the line of succession.”

“In God’s eye she doesn’t even exist.”
“How convenient God has this opinion.”

“I put up with you.”

“When she crosses me and she will, she will be dead anyway.”

“I will win him over, I always do.”
Tags: doctor who, reign, the last ship, the walking dead

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