epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Scarecrows (1988)

Trespassers will be mutilated!
Thieves rob a payroll, kidnap a pilot and his daughter and fly off. One asswipe thief double-crosses his comrades and bails out of the plane. He lands in a creepy graveyard surrounded by scarecrows but with no crops. Cue bad acting and the betraying thief talking to himself non-stop. His comrades are petty angry brutes who bail out of the plane after him to stumble around in the dark and find a creepy house.

This is a miserable, dumb, depressing experience with detached acting. The scarecrows look creepy but this film is epically bad with useless and offensively stupid characters who are monumentally annoying. They’re far from the sharpest tools in the shed so who cares about their fate?

Best Lines:
“Every piece of you’s going straight to hell!”

“Stuff you full of crow-sh#t!”

“Start bagging some crow turds.”

“I want to shoot you in the back!”

“It’s time to bleed.”
Tags: movie review

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