epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: 21 Jump Street + Passenger 57 + The Taking Of Beverly Hills

21 Jump Street (2012)
Two high school dude bros overcome adverse incidents to become disillusioned park cops. This is an expletive filled vapid take on Johnny Depp’s old show. Jenko the perpetually stupid one (Channing Tatum) and Schmidt the fat one (Jonah Hill) go undercover as Brad and Doug McQuaid and in an aversion of responsibility, the fat one becomes a jerk ass popular kid and the dumb one becomes a smart unpopular nerd. Their boss (Ice Cube) is extremely agitated, there is dumb action and this is an overly sensationalistic take on the material. There are jokes about how high school has changed since 2005, cameos by the original show’s stars, things get problematic via sexism and an extravagance of dumbness and tripping representation. Dave Franco wanders in and out of frame, nobody cares.

Best Lines:
“Not so Slim Shady!”

“I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions and less homeless people doo-dooing everywhere.”

“You want to me to beat your dick off?”

“What do I do?”
“Hit him!”

“When did I get stabbed?”

“We’re reviving a cancelled undercover police programme from the 80s and revamping it for modern times. You see the guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity and are completely out of ideas.”

“Embrace your stereotypes.”

“Do not get expelled.”

“They’re teenagers man, they’re really stupid. So you should blend right in.”

“Don’t try hard at anything.”

“Physically incapable rejects.”

“Put your tongue back in your mouth.”

“I partied with Robert Downey Jr, before he got sober!”

“Not that I can think of that would make sense.”

“If it’s good, you hear from me. If it’s not good, you hear from me about telling you how it’s not good.”

“You’re like two Hardy Boys in one.”

“You took a bullet for me man!”
“Yeah I’m feeling a little ambivalent about that right now.”

Passenger 57 (1992)
Bad dude Rane (Bruce Payne) takes over a plane because he is an intimidating lunatic. Cutter (Wesley Snipes of ‘Blade’) fails to engage as he saves the day. Flight attendant Sabrina (Elizabeth Hurley) is in on it. People in authority (Bruce Greenwood & Tom Sizemore) walk down corridors yapping. It’s not ‘Executive Decision’ or ‘Under Siege’. Local yokels bore and the moronic action looks cheap. The plot is factually impossible as there is a fairground chase, reason is degraded and destroyed and cheap vulgarities are uttered. Rane talks in a creepy monotone whilst Sabrina shows some leg and swills booze. There are fist fights, Cutter punches out Sabrina and kicks Rane off the plane. This was stupid.

Best Lines:
“You and I both know I will never see the inside of a prison.”

“I’m going to kill you during.”

“I want a raise.”

"Is your father still alive?"
"He died, violently."

The Taking Of Beverly Hills (1991)
A football hero (Ken Wahl of ‘Wiseguy’) battles ex-cops who are using a chemical spill to rob and loot Beverly Hills. A cop in on the theft (Matt Frewer) joins forces with the hero to stop the bad guy (Robert Davi). Ken Wahl and his dead speaking delivery is not memorable in this crazy stupid, unconvincing film about a mulleted moron being unintentionally funny. Lee Ving and Branscombe Richmond also star in this non stalwart effort that is an affront. There goes the neighbourhood indeed.
Tags: movie review, wiseguy

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