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Deep Breath
The lizard woman and her love slave lurk. The Tardis is coughed up by a dinosaur. The 12th Doctor (Peter Capaldi of ‘World War Z’) wanders around dolorously, ranting in garrulous fashion. The new opening credits are not good. Clara has no rationalism. A robot man does bad things. Clara whines. The poor dinosaur dies. This was an unlettered bore and was valueless. The Tardis gets a makeover and there is a Matt Smith cameo.

Best Lines:
“Door. Boring. Not me.”

“I fear devilment.”

“The violent poor.”

“These are attack eyebrows.”

“Everybody forget that happened.”

“Anything but old.”

“He has walked this universe for centuries untold.”

The Paring Knife
This was not cinema du look, just pretentious pulp all along. Vulgar, dissolute Americans plot. Nessa isn’t dead but is misused. The plot is not deep and meaningful. Instead it is hilariously misguided and utterly ghastly. Sir Hugh Hayden-Hoyle’s cookie crumbles literally. People have grim countenances. Nessa is reunited with her son. No-one wants to know about Nessa being kidnapped, again. There is reckless dismissal of sense and no rigorous thinking. Atika is questioned.

There no complacent authority or just cause, instead there is increasingly agitated muttering. Nessa learns how deep the betrayal goes. Atika and her tombstone teeth face down unjust aggressors. There is hatred, causational violence, mishandling and a quest for placeness. Also there is mutual stabbing, no dignified silence and Nessa survives third act imperilment to end up alone in a great crowd, again. There are heinous and polarising events, no impartiality, tub thumping opportunism and an unsolvable problem.

This was a series full of Malickesque pretensions, hideously small minded people, a milksop heroine, people with a wanton eagerness to misunderstand, a stroppy toddler, monstrous callousness and this final episode just induced torpor and was not emotionally wrought or politically charged. I feel accentuated discontent.

Best Lines:
“Today’s a different one.”
“A better one.”

“Say goodbye to the view, Hugh.”

“Nessa Stein is dead, a martyr to our cause.”

“You had not claimed him for yourself.”

“He’s in no danger, he never was.”

“You tried? With what?”

“I hate you all the more.”

“Too late. Live with it.”

Beth and Daryl wander the ruins of what was once North America avoiding the ad hoc bands of cannibal living dead. Uptight Beth wants booze. They stumble across a country club that is now a mere luxury goods theme park and then a hillbilly shack. Moonshine is drunk. Daryl discusses his redneck upbringing and does overstated growling and brooding. Beth whines. Daryl is an uncommon ass. There is yelling and arson. Discount this suck ass ep.

Best Lines:
“Enjoy your snake jerky!”

“Suck ass camp!”

“Spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes!”

Bash (who never existed) broods. His intellectual inferior Francis is useless, boring and stupid and he has resentful dimness. Olivia is tainted with self-pity. Mary has selective indignation. Kenna has no personal integrity or sense. Mary embraces irrationality and hysteria. King Henri shows up with Diane. This episode was simplistic, lazy and faintly bored. Kenna yells at the King over the H&D tiles in her rooms, there is no royal protocol in her discourse. Diane was a pagan. Mary’s dog is still AWOL and there is a stag head over her bed.

Francis brings himself to care for her plight. When Mary wasn’t taking offence, she had others to take offence on her behalf. The way her ladies dress they might as well be in jeans slung to the pubis. Where are the musketeers and Mary’s Guise uncles? Kenna bores and whines. A maid can’t curtsey. Henri and Diane still have a connection, but she doesn’t look 15 years older than him. Mary has a portrait of her mother Marie de Guise in her room. Mary’s maid and one of Catherine’s guards turn out to be pagans and are burned. Bash kills someone. Francis breaks up with Mary. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“Make yourself the next Queen of France.”

“Far too many.”

“I’m Catholic; I practise my father’s religion.”

“These devils have come inside our walls.”

“Diane’s the mother of the King’s favourite son.”

“I asked for mint sprigs.”

“Keep moving. Stop talking.”

“Bastard born or not.”

“How many of you are there?”


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