epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: American Reunion (2012)

The flop 4th (and hopefully final) movie in the saga sees the group reunite for their 13th high school reunion. The obnoxiously self assured dudebros haven‘t really changed since 1999. To their horror Stifler and his improbable stories shows up. Stifler likes to play the bastard and indulges in a gratuitous orgy of nihilistic fury, hate mongering, self-obsession and baleful glaring. Jim prevaricates and humiliates himself. TPTB continue to be terrified of gays.

Oz reunites with Heather, his love from part 1. Vicki shows up. Kevin has conurbations. Stifler is all flippant, vile, spiteful dissimilation, trolling ignorance and sexism. Everyone has the personality of cardboard. Jim and Michelle have boring issues. Jim has zero reaction to his mother being dead. Jim’s dad and Stifler’s mom hook up. Stifler is a biznizman with a manic glint. The script is calibrated to squeeze in nudity, fights and crudity. I feel utter despair at this crap assembled by laptop production teams.

The reunion takes place in the last few minutes as Jessica and Sherman show up. Stifler shags Finch’s mother and poisons things with his withering commentary. Nadia makes a cameo. This was thoroughly ill-advised, leaden, lacklustre, repugnant and regressive. Why was Stifler’s terminal infantilisation allowed to dominate this turgid crap?

Best Lines:
“Every time I want to shop online and I start typing Amazon. Amazingcollegeslutsdotcom pops up.”

“Choir chick!”

“The one that looked like Adam Sandler.”

“What happened to pissing in their suntan lotion?”

“Girls today seem a bit sluttier.”

“I sat around writing X Files fan fiction.”

“You want to introduce me to your friends?”

“Be her daddy!”

“I don’t want to go to jail for kicking some horny kids teeth in. But I will, believe me.”

“You walked in on Doug and Barry in the shower.”
“I just thought they were wrestling.”

“Heard a lot about you. Mostly negative.”

“Good to see you.”
“No it wasn’t.”
Tags: movie review

Comments for this post were disabled by the author