Confessions of a Murderer
This was directed by Edgar Wright. A cop (Philip Jackson of ‘Agatha Christie’s Poirot’) gets yet another false confession to murder from crime show addict Harriet (Dawn French). The cop’s boss Inspector Dawson (Hugh Bonneville of ‘Downton Abbey’) is an ass and he is exasperated by the annoying woman and her various confessions to things like Shergar. The not visually appealing Harriet has cats named Inspector Frost, Brother Cadfael and Inspector Morse. Harriet is addicted to an awful channel where she watches endless repeated crime shows. I felt widespread hostility for this episode due to Harriet’s abrasive personality and Dawson stomping around and scowling a lot. There are references to ‘Taggart’ and the 1970s ‘Hawaii Five-0’. A reporter (Graeme Garden of ‘The Goodies‘) shows up to follow up on Harriet’s wild confessions. Harriet stalks the petty mean spirited jerk Dawson and there is a twist. This was not good, Dawn French and her good-natured obesity grate.
“I picked up the shovel!”
“Explain yourself chummy!”
“I am Lord Lucan!”
“More sad than bad.”
“I drowned the bank manager in the cement mix!”
“Your sad little house with your sad little cats!”
His Sister’s Keeper
We get flashbacks to Bellamy and his irresponsible mother so we can feel sorry for the useless eater. Raven is a twit, Finn is a man-tit and Bellamy heads into Grounder territory like it is a model bar to find Octavia and her pornification. Clarke does ‘inconsolable’. Grounders lurk and kill more of the morons. Octavia whines. More flashbacks show how Ms Blake did favours for a guard to get stuff. Bellamy was to be a guard but then screwed everything up by his own uric. Bellamy is vicious and discombobulating. This ep was vulgar and crude. They’ve only been on the ground for 10 days or so? Finn gets shanked, Raven whines and Octavia and Bellamy have words. I’ve no sympathy for the twit; he needs a good slap around.
“I don’t speak Grounder but I’m pretty sure this means keep out.”
“They started this.”
“Everything that’s gone wrong is because of you.”
“Mom was floated for having you.”
Elena’s body is not in its grave. Gardiner sneaks. Julian goes on trial. Martin plays Carlos. Alec doesn’t have a job. Liber8 jury tamper or do they? Alec’s mother is ever useless. Emily has ninja skills and an agenda. There is a twist. In 2077 Julian is a jailbird mass murderer. Okay.
2077 there is a random gratuitous ass shot of Garza and she has an unexpected connection with Alec. Gardiner is helpful. A dog eats drugs. Garza does evil chortling. There are deaths and a mysterious guy who may or may not be Liber8 looms. Alec wonders if Jason is his daddy. Freelance time travellers have hand tattoos that are code. Mr Escher bores and he is a freelancer. Alec and his one facial expression is grabbed by Garza. Kiera sneers. Gardiner dies. This was dull and absurd.
“That’s not good.”
“They’re more of a cult and the time continuum is their chess board.”
“I know who he is!”
“I know who he becomes!”
“There is no fate.”