epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Death To Smoochy + Cargo

Death To Smoochy (2002)
This is a nasty, twisted black comedy that is occasionally amusing. Rainbow Randolph (the late Robin Williams) is America’s biggest kids TV show star until he is busted by the FBI for accepting bribes. To save face the network replaces him with squeaky clean nice guy Sheldon (Edward Norton). Sheldon is an overnight success going from performing at methadone clinics to being the number 1 kids TV star. Sheldon is worshipped and Randolph is a homeless pariah sinking into insanity. Randolph is determined to bring his replacement down. Can Sheldon prevail over Randolph’s campaign of sabotage?

Best Lines:
“You’re here to sell sugar and plastic.”

“Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die you Muppet from hell! Die you foam motherf##ker!”

“Welcome to Fatty Arbuckle land!”

“It’s a shame this happened. Okay, now let’s go pray and get sh##faced.”

“So remember kids, a step dad is a lot like a new puppy. They need patience and love while they adjust to their new surroundings. But remember, if he is ever abusive to you or mommy, what are the magic numbers?”
“911!”

~
Cargo (2013)
This 7 minute short film sees a man and his baby stranded in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. His wife has turned and bitten him and he has to protect his baby before he turns too. He heads for a safe zone collecting guts, a stick and a balloon on the way whilst carrying the baby on his back. Eventually other survivors show up and discover (eventually) how the father protected his baby. This is not catastrophically horrible.
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