epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Student Bodies + Ted

Student Bodies (1981)
This lame horror spoof is misogynistic and unfunny.

Best Lines:
“Nurse Krud and Ms Van Dyke. What’s in a name? Everything.”

“Talking? During Horsehead Bookends?”

“Why do they always run away from me? It’s the galoshes. They’re a dead giveaway. Why do I wear them? It isn’t even raining!”

“A man who was once arrested for corrupting the morals of a hooker.”

“She eats 12 prunes a day and nothing happens.”

“Malvert sometimes pee red.”

“English teacher by day and English teacher by night.”

Ted (2012)
Lil’John wishes his Christmas teddy would be his best friend. Teddy promptly comes to life. Years pass lil’John is now 35, Teddy’s fame has faded like that of Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz and Justin Bieber’s and Johnny is trying to make things with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) work. But he spends too much time goofing off and smoking weed with his racist, sexist, homophobic teddy bear. Sam Jones from ‘Flash Gordon’ shows up, Lori’s awful boss Rex is awful, a weirdo and his creepy child kidnap Teddy and there is a chase around Boston. There are cameos, take thats, a break up, a make up and this was okay leaving aside all the sexist jokes.

Best Lines:
“Back off Susan Boyle!”

“I didn’t know you had a baby. Is it alive?”

“Jesus H F##k!”

“He only had three other batches: Gorilla Panic, They’re Coming They’re Coming and something called This Is Permanent.”

“You bastard man.”

“Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did!”

“Those gay beat-up clubs.”

“What, like anal?”

“It ain’t hardly had no murders in it. So that’s good.”

“Then he got deported back to Iran.”

“This is art, get it?”

“Man pecs.”

“That was Sinead O’Connor. She don’t look so good no more.”
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