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Drexel works on sensory deprivation, rebirthing and conditioning people to obey Morag. Crane’s brother is still a vegetable. Anne is off to Paris for a conference or so she thinks, actually she is abducted by Drexel and co to be brainwashed. She doesn’t notice. Crane looks like he oozes motor oil out of his pores and seems emotionally stunted. Various people yap about imaging. Anne and her ugly hair is in peril from men with dodgy obviously fake ‘French’ accents. People in silly outfits subject Anne to sensory deprivation and chroma-key mind control. Crane is menaced; there is infiltration, sarcasm and contempt. Drexel the alleged big bad dies and there is a close up of his signet ring that has an omega symbol on it. This was okay and what were Julia’s secrets?

Best Lines:
“She’s his mother image as well.”

“Murder by mind control.”

“It’s a British Rail sleeper not the Orient Express.”

“A weekend retreat for your fancy boys?”

“What is that a euphemism for?”

Wiping Away The Past
Marisol learns trophy wife Taylor was a prostitute who stole her former john turned husband Michael from the bitter Olivia. Gutter trash Carmen’s attempts to be a songbird plot negates all interest. Rosie needs money but her female boss continues her adherence to being a cow and her male boss fancies her. Mr Powell continues being a freak; the Powells have a warped marriage. Michael (Brett Cullen) wants to leave town. Zoila interferes in Valentina and Remi’s relationship. Zoila is a smother and still pines over her boss’ brother who dumped her years ago seeing her husband and daughter as consolation prizes. Marisol lies and learns more of Mr Powell’s secrets. He is a pimp and Flora was on his ho train. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Does it taste good?”
“It’s a German turnip.”

“People ate normal things like potatoes and corn and lard.”

“I don’t apologise to whores. And I’m not speaking metaphorically when I use that word. She’s an actual whore.”

“A lot of lonely rich friends.”

“Don’t corrupt him just to hurt me.”

“Friends? What friends?”

“Do you ever regret yours?”


“Where is East LA anyway?”
“Well you know when we’re on the freeway and you make me speed up?”

“Leaving me for hooker-Barbie.”

“He gives them as gifts to his friends.”

Anton is back in Russia. Nina has to get Stan to get Echo or she’s dead. Secrets about Kate are revealed. Philip busts out more obvious disguises to get secrets from a sick rambling scientist (Zeljko Ivanek). The Navy SEAL goes from shutting down the answering service to killing Kate. Paige rebels. Nina is doomed. The poor scientist is bitter. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“Died at the age of four from a raccoon bite. Rabies.”

“They invited him to leave.”

Life Matters
Bill and Eric are asses. Eric busts open the vampire prison and the vampires prove they are monsters as bad things happen. The vampires need to be wiped out. Mrs Newlin lives. Terry’s funeral is held and there are flashbacks to Terry doing stuff and showing off his various contradictions and attention seeking. Sookie manages to make Terry’s funeral all about her. There is bad green screen. Bill saves the vampires by giving them his immunity to sunlight. Jason stands around gloating as the vampires kill humans. Steve Newlin finally dies. Everyone is reprehensible and needs to die. This was crappy and is actually worse than ‘Melissa & Joey’.

Best Lines:
“Is that the Stackhouse girl? The weirdo?”

“You disgusting cretin.”

“I know that scream.”

“You have no future.”


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