epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: A Single Man + Young Einstein

A Single Man (2009)
Tom Ford directed this movie that looks like a perfume commercial. An uptight teacher named George (Colin Firth) mourns the forced departure of his lover (Matthew Goode of ‘Watchmen’) whilst hiding his wrenching grief and membership of a cloistered subculture in 1960s America. He chats with a student (Nicholas Hoult) and has a friend Charley (Julianne Moore) who wants him to be her posh totty. Various people walk around acting like their soda is too cold and their teeth hurt. George plans suicide and talks like he’s a raving derelict. Everyone in this film needed to shut up. There were lewd intentions, sexism, Lee Pace and perving over younger men.

Best Lines:
“Raise coke drinking, TV watching children who as soon as they can speak chant TV jingles and smash things with hammers.”

“The dumbest creatures are always the happiest. Just look at your mother.”

“Why don’t you go home and stop shooting people?”

“If I stood on my head, I’d be a natural brunette.”

“Living in the past is my future.”

Young Einstein (1988)
Written and directed by Yahoo Serious. This Oz comedy set in 1906 tells of how Albert Einstein (Serious) was actually a Tasmania apple farmer. All those apples prompt him to become a self taught physicist as he puts bubbles into beer by splitting the atom. He heads off to mainland to patent this idea and meets Marie Curie (who stumbles over her lines). This starts out very funny but as soon as he gets to the mainland, it stumbles. An evil toff steals his idea. Albert then invents rock and roll music and surfing. He is also thrown out of a lot of buildings and invents the theory of relativity. This is subdued and only notionally amusing as the over-polite Albert is an intellectual scrapper. Freud and Darwin lurk. There are a lot of irritating songs on the soundtrack and Albert finally triumphs in exhilaratingly dull fashion.

Best Lines:
“What is beer dad?”

“There’s a bushman in my carriage!”

“That’s an affront to commonsense!”

“Where have you been?”
“Mental institution.”
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