epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Before Dawn (2012)

Before Dawn (2012)
This low budget UK zombie film is directed by and stars Dominic Brunt (aka Paddy in ‘Emmerdale’). An estranged couple Meg the bitch wife and Alex the fat hopeless (Brunt) go into the Yorkshire Dales to repair their failing marriage among the fields and sheep. Meg is obviously having an affair or planning one with a man who has large amounts of money that could be spent on her. Alex is the type who oherwise would have croaked in Blackpool under a fat hooker. After 34 minutes of Meg and Alex bickering, a rabid fast zombie shows up and bites Meg.

There is bright sunlight, the phones don’t work, another zombie shows up and it pauses for dramatic effect before going after the gormless Alex. There are scare chords, kitchen sink drama, Alex has to batter his zombie wife with a flowery saucepan and then another man shows up. Cue swearing, mumbling, emotionally stunted characters who overact like they’re in a lounge act while spewing filth and glaring. This was torpor inducing dullness.

Best Lines:
“It’s what’s going on.”

“It’s the end of the world!”

“She went out and she hasn’t come back.”
“You better pray she doesn’t."
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