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Withnail and I (1987)
It is 1969 and two sad faced failed actors (Paul McGann and Richard E. Grant) live a proudly decayed life in a squalid flat. Then they head off to the countryside where their self destructive poisonous friendship gets worse especially when Withnail goes fishing with a shotgun and sets his pal up to be pursued by a pervert. This was unintentionally crappy and indulgent.

Best Lines:
“I feel unusual; I think we should go outside.”

“I demand to have some booze!”

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012)
Josh Hutcherson and Dwayne Johnson star in this Brendan Fraser free sequel. Since the first film the son (Hutcherson) has become a punk and his step dad Hank (Johnson) wants to bond with him via another Jules Verne tale. His shrill mother (Kristin Davis) just stands around showing off her dermal fillers. Where did the embittered rump Brendan Fraser go?

An over complicated message leads the son to a map and a mysterious island via some gargantuan plot jumps. The son is lacking in restraint. A pilot and his crafty prostitute daughter (Vanessa Hudgens) tag along to be sulky and garrulous. The step dad is a gasbag, the pilot is a leather-skinned lothario and there is bad acting all round. There is bad CGI and I wonder where the blue bird from the end of the first film went?

This sequel is extraneous and over-extended morass of plot illogic despite the mini elephants and giant butterflies. The son is a disobliged blowhard who needs reintergrative shamming. The son’s vehemently hostile grandfather (Michael Caine) shows up to be cruel and coarse. Sweat stains vanish and this film is not well-nuanced and has a lax script.

I want to see the self-aggrandising Hank’s abs. The son doesn’t get the gravity of being shipwrecked, he is too busy chasing the annoying shameless little sexpot flirt and poking around the lost city of Atlantis while disregarding authority and being acrimonious. Hank elucidates sense as they look for Captain Nemo’s Nautilus.

The island is sinking, but don’t worry the mini elephant herd can swim underwater. Scenes from ‘Back to the Future’, ‘Return of the Jedi’ and ‘Jurassic Park’ are ripped off and a 3rd film in the saga is set up based on ‘From the Earth to the Moon’. No thank you, this was a sappy mess.

Best Lines:

“Watch the lizard.”

“I trust gravity.”

“Nobody’s going to see your kelp.”

“We are literally walking on eggshells.”

“My large friend.”

“Come on bird!”

“What the heck were you drinking?”


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