epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Revenge 3x19 + Da Vinci’s Demons 1x07&1x08 Reviewed

Emily’s idiot wedding/fake murder plot has left her susceptible to defeat. Emily wears a huge hat and imperceptibly she is losing ground to Victoria. Javier and Charlotte contextualise their crapulence. Margaux wears foliage in her hair. Victoria’s extreme hostility ups the ante. Luke (Tim DeKay of ‘White Collar’) yet another former Grayson Global worker shows up. He is now a natural gas impresario. Emily compromises herself by taking him down. Margaux is indifferent and punitive to Jack. Javier is the vilest, baffling, straying, miniscule brained moron ever to draw breath. Despite her black coffee and grapefruit diet, Victoria has learned the you give it or you take it mantra. Pascal divulges stuff. Aiden and Nolan find a reporter and get him killed. Stuff about Aiden’s dead daddy is revealed. Javier is subject to coercion. Victoria and Daniel menace. Javier is derelict of intelligence. Pascal is a recurrent ass. Margaux is not full of sadness but Jack is. Nolan initiates war. Conrad is loathsome. This was okay but now Victoria is on to Emily.

Best Lines:
“Merely an enemy in disguise.”

“Screw the other guy.”

“He was certainly an easier sell than your father.”

“30 trials in 12 states.”

“The locals seem restless.”

“I control what the world hears.”

“Unresolved father issues.”

“Local nature-nuts.”

“None of this was chance. It was Emily.”

“It’s revenge. For David.”

The Hierophant
Wales continues to double for Renaissance Italy. Leonardo and his idiot friends have arrived in Rome to ransack the Vatican Secret archives. The Pazzis are in opposition to the Medicis. Leonardo is vexatious. Vanessa and Giuliano hook up. Leonardo does drugs and builds a diving suit. The Duke of Urbino and Rome are squalidly corrupt. Giuliano finds damning evidence. Leonardo is shameless. Cardinal Orsini (it’s the dude who played the title role in ‘Young Sherlock Holmes’) plots.

Sixtus IV shows Leonardo around the Vatican Secret Archives which contains the Ark of the Covenant, a dragon skull, kryptonite, Excalibur and the Spear of Destiny. Sixtus IV blabs about a Papal armada. Sixtus IV knows stuff somehow. Leonardo is blatantly stupid. Riario has an endless capacity for badness. Nico is futile. Leonardo pulls faces as he comes to some realisations very, very, very slowly. Hark! Leonardo is selfish and for some reason, they don’t kill Riario. Lucrezia needs to be held accountable for her acts, but the evil little tart gets away with things again. This was an unnecessary ep of an unnecessary show.

Best Lines:
“Feuds like that don’t just go away.”

“Your palace is a prison with better linens.”

“That family of fiends.”

The Lovers
Leonardo has no misapprehension about following an omen and takes umbrage at everything. There is slow-motion. The Turk pops up to yap. Lucrezia is proprietorcal about the moral high ground. Leonardo whines about manipulation and Ottomans. This ep was unwanted. Lorenzo doesn’t seem too upset over his missing brother. Leonardo finds an astrolabe in Cosimo Medici’s tomb. Vanessa is knocked up. Shame how so many plots on this show centre around man-rods. Leonardo does not warn Lorenzo about Lucrezia or the assassins because he is an atavistic fool and an implicitly awful tool. Riario and Pazzi face pull at the vicissitudes of fate. Easter Mass is to be the death of all the Medicis. A quadruple agent plots. Riario is an exponent of war.

Lucrezia is a liar, thief, poisoner, whore and murderer and is utterly unapologetic. She is hysterical with vacillation. I don’t care about this show and its depiction of the jerkish Leonardo and his swathe of foul acts. The identity of the prisoner is revealed revealing Sixtus IV’s big secret and Riario and Lucrezia’s blood ties. 1x01 had an assassination in a church and now events come full circle. There is excessive swearing, overuse of a crimping iron and the Pazzi conspiracy erupts. Lucrezia needs killing, sadly she does not die.

Blood, swords, fighting and murderous priests are on show in the church. Clarice’s brother abandons her and her three daughters to be murdered, Giuliano is stabbed a lot and Riario shows up to slightly offset things with an RPG. In 1478. Lucrezia’s betrayal is revealed, Lorenzo is wounded and Leonardo shows up to annoy. There is yelling, Lorenzo finds out about Leonardo’s betrayal and vengeance is promised. It ends on a cliffhanger and I’m done.

Best Lines:
“I see grim tidings.”

“The dead will be the lucky ones.”

“The choice and the consequences are yours.”

“Piss into this.”

“You’re not with worms girl.”

“Let the politicians kill each other! It’s their forte.”

“Death to the Medicis!”

“Die Medici scum!”

“Your line will live on.”

“I will kill you both.”

“God’s vengeance is upon you!”
Tags: da vincis demons, revenge, white collar

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