The Waiting Game
This show had cute cheesy opening credits. In this episode, soldiers in Barn 39 are ordered to open silo doors and launch. Cue nuclear war via stock footage. The two soldiers, Tyler and Levitt, survive the war and look out Barn 39’s door at the wasteland left by the nuclear holocaust. They learn there are two other survivors in Barn 36: Garza and Knox.
Garza cracks up and goes outside into the wreckage. Something happens to him out there in the dust and dimness. Knox goes to investigate the scary noise and learns there is something out there in the dark rot and ruin. In a flurry of bad acting Garza comes back for Knox with other survivors. Knox unwisely opens the door without asking what could survive on the scoured Earth.
Knox shows up at Barn 39 and despite Tyler waving a gun, Levitt goes outside for her. Knox jumps the Martin Freeman looking Tyler and reveals she is a vampire now. A master vampire in robes has turned her and Garza into vampires and he has a lot of other followers. Due to WW3, vampires are now the dominant species with no sun and radiation an irrelevance.
Tyler is a vampire now and he wants in to Barn 39 to get to Levitt. Tyler’s persistent as he tries the code to get into Barn 39. He’ll get in eventually no matter how long it takes to get the right code. Levitt looks at his gun and sinks hopelessly to the ground as the crowd of vampires wait for the door to be opened. This was okay, but what will they eat?
Best Lines:
“Even the cockroaches aren’t coming back from this one.”
“Nobody won this war.”
“Nothing can live out there.”
“He’s already contaminated, he can’t come back in.”
“The world is smashed flat.”
“Something’s moving.”
“Something’s outside.”
“They’re waiting.”
“You screamed. What happened?”
“Oh that.”
“You should be dead.”
“How did you survive?”
“It’s simple, I didn’t.”
“Nuclear winter gives us eternal night.”
~
Addiction
Pascal and Victoria talk in inflated speech. Emily’s back in her beach house. Daniel and Charlotte plot against Emily’s friends. Stevie and Jack’s blood ties are made public. It is season 3 and the Graysons have suffered no consequences whatsoever. Pascal bores and stalks Victoria like the boring egotistical self-promoter he is. Victoria is witheringly aloof. Morgan Fairchild shows up for one scene as a ‘friend’ of Victoria’s showing off her awful cosmetic surgery.
The Grayson Manor plot is resolved more or less. Societal perception has damned Emily but she has no grim or desperate anger. Charlotte is drab and dry. Daniel has vehemence as he lambastes the repudiated Emily. Javier plans a web-avatar thing. Daniel manipulates Margaux. Emily and Daniel have divorced off-screen and in between episodes. Emily is boringly unflappable.
There is yet another retcon of Victoria’s past. Emily throws a casino night. Aiden is unyielding and won’t accept Emily’s restitutional hand. Pascal yells with his reptilian grin. TPTB iterate Margaux’s importance, she’s not as scintillating as TPTB think. If Stevie was such a drunk, why doesn’t Jack have FAS? Conrad guilt trips Steive into falling off the wagon.
A crowd shows up for the widely mocked and widely disliked Emily’s casino night. Javier and Charlotte bond. Daniel is a mocker. Margaux is disillusioned. Stevie is neurotic and dispossessed, Conrad is so bad. Victoria and Pascal frowningly, floridly and lustfully plot banally and preposterously against Emily. Aiden falls in though an unlocked door to make a succinct observation. This was a jarring drearily boring mess of stroppiness and bewilderment.
Best Lines:
“Emily Thorne is a plague on our homes.”
“We were already sleeping in separate places. Me in our bedroom and you wherever you happened to pass out that night.”
“Victoria had stolen you.”
“I’m hunting her.”
“Pascal was Nixon-ing you?”