epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Colombina (2011)

A girl is orphaned in the interminable 30 minute prologue. 15 years later she has grown up into an assassin (Zoë Saldana) who is chased by an FBI agent (Lennie James) who doesn’t think a woman could do that. This has orange tans, fighting, revenge, an evil CIA agent, criminals and was a piss poor approximation of a movie. It did have two good scenes: in the first the heroine fakes a DUI to get into a lockup to kill a guy, the second is when she swims through an evil guy’s shark tank so she can infiltrate his house and feed him to the sharks. Apart from that please don’t pursue this.

Best Lines:
“22 times?”

“Everyone dead, down to the dog.”

“Fishie fishie!”
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