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epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Arrow 2x15 + Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D 1x13 + The Blacklist 1x15 + The Americans 2x03 Reviewed

The Promise
Slade wears a suit and has money, how did that come about? Oliver being a smug selfish dolt doesn’t bother to ask. Moira orders Oliver out of Queen Manor, where does he live?  This episode is mostly made up of flashbacks to the CGI craphole island as Oliver does ‘Rocky IV’ style workouts and Slade is screwed around by Oliver and Sara’s butt chin. Those liars lied! And Slade said he and Oliver were brothers. Poor Slade and his non-malfeasance. They try to seize the freighter via incoherent fight scenes. Ivo has back-story and Slade finds out Oliver lied to him. Oliver is assiduously stupid, giving Slade the impetus to go bad. Cue ship seizing, hand chopping off and complete despair being promised.

Hooligan Oliver tries to kill Slade with an ice pick. Oliver has hostile energy when it is his entire fault. Felicity is innately useless and is all inaction. Sneering Sara has no regret for her actions. This episode was formulaic crap; I’m on Team Slade on his one.

Best Lines:
“Let them remember me the way that I was.”

“Why didn’t you choose me?”

“Fantastic. We’re saved.”

“He’s dead. As dead as you are.”

“Don’t start a fight, you’ll lose.”

“You’re sick.”
“I don’t care.”

~
T.R.A.C.K.S
Coulson targets Ian Quinn (David Conrad of ‘Ghost Whisperer’ and ‘Roswell’) on a train. Coulson is grating, cantankerous and downright absurd as the gang go undercover. I wonder what he’ll make of the events of ‘Captain America: The Winter Solider’. Anyway the team’s shenanigans are bland as they are unbearably arrogant and impatient. TPTB are risk adverse and induce feelings of pure compacted rage or maybe it is tedium. This show has a lack of credibility even with the Stan Lee cameo.

The passive, sombre May poses a lot and really wants to be the Black Widow. There is comedy padding and a mention of what became of The Abomination after the Edward Norton ‘Hulk’ movie. Still the writers seem utterly demotivated. There is a lot of arch muttering, the priggish shifty grinning Coulson is full of scorn at Ward, Simmons is hysterical and this enfeebled bunkum episode is basically a rip off the inferior movie ‘Vantage Point’. Skye’s outlaw aura gets her shot and why are we supposed to care? Quinn is captured. The team have lost objectivity as the grandiose over-reaction to Skye dying shows. This show is utterly stupid and now Mike is a cyborg assassin aka Deathlok.

Best Lines:
“Lots of teeth.”

“You made time for your work! And your prostitutes!”

~
The Judge
This episode was so dark and still no-one knows Red’s actual purpose, though it is hinted at. Red says Jolene faked her death to escape him. Jolene tempts the morbid hipster Tom. A gang of vigilantes led by The Judge take disturbing vengeance for miscarriages of justice. Ressler’s leg injury seems to have been walked off, Harold Cooper is insouciant and Lance Reddick of ‘Fringe’ guest stars. This show is intermittently satisfying but this episode was good if disturbing.

Cooper unveils his excuses gallery, the saucy Jolene hurls herself at Tom and The Judge’s idea of evening the scales involves inflicting excruciating deprivation on those judged. There is a debate on factual innocence, moral guilt and legal guilt. The Judge’s identity is obvious, Red looks up an old Navy friend whose career was damaged when Red left yet the friend still helps Red. This comes in useful when Red mutters about quasi-esoteric matters as the belief system The Judge has created is rendered invalid by The Judge violating their own edicts. Red drops hints to Cooper; Tom has inner turmoil and then gets creepy.

Best Lines:
“Every culture has a justice myth.”

“His mind’s too far gone.”

“Even God won’t forgive you for this.”

“My wife left me, thanks.”

“A war is coming.”

“Elizabeth Keen is not your wife, she’s your target.”

~
The Walk In
Flashbacks to 1966 show how Elizabeth never wanted children. Now she’s gone soft due to fearing for them. Nobody has 80s hair or clothes. Elizabeth and Philip putter around and wonder (at last) what would happen to their children if they died. Elizabeth worries, her real name means hope which is sad. Paige goes looking into her mother’s past. Nina plays Stan, Aunt Helen is KGB and Oleg annoys. This was not good, they’re isolated. We get it.

Best Lines
“That’s awesome.”
“Yes I am.”

“Technically a hamburger in the shape of a steak.”

“We don’t have any real friends.”
Tags: agents of shield, arrow, the americans, the blacklist
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