epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Elementary 2x15 + Revenge 3x14 Reviewed

Corpse de Ballet
Holmes is desperate to be uncongenial and uncompromising. A ballet company gets all ‘Black Swan’ as a ballerina is murdered. Joan mooches off Holmes and subjects herself to situations that are even more horrific than the last. Holmes fangirls a ballerina. Bell hangs out with Holmes. Joan works with the homeless. There is Windows 8 product placement and Holmes’ voice sounds weird. Holmes will boink anything, my interest in this show ebbs. A sleazy paparazzo sleazes, Holmes may as well be a bum on the street and Joan continues to suck it up. Joan’s past is retconed, there is welfare fraud and the climax and this episode was ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“Prima is on the move.”

“Hobo hunt 2014.”

“This huge coke problem,”

“A padlocked door inside your house?”

“A far less homicidal attorney.”

Emily and Daniel won’t consciously uncouple. Victoria and Conrad prepare to divorce again. Emily learns, unlearns and learns again. Charlotte is boring, Patrick hangs out with his creepy birth father (Brett Cullen) and Nolan is all Emily compliant yet again. Stevie, the 1st Mrs Grayson is a divorce lawyer and Emily has hired her. Patrick has violated trust so comprehensively; I’m surprised Victoria still tolerates him. Daniel tries to do acting menacingly, Conrad and the French chick have a dispute and Niko kidnaps Aiden. Niko is inconsequential and plans to kill Emily. That’ll learn her!

Patrick has no integrity, Victoria has scant regret, Emily has more blackouts, Daniel has minimal morals, Emily and Niko fight and the sulky porno looking loser skulks away. Patrick and Victoria do a murder, Aiden is thankless, Stevie gets Grayson Manor, Charlotte is played and Jack’s mother is revealed. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“Emily would be wise to rid herself of my son.”

“I’m surprised you remember that at all considering your level of inebriation.”

“Why are you still here?”

“Choosing a failure over me.”

“What is wrong with us?”
Tags: elementary, revenge

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