epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Elementary 2x14 + Revenge 3x13 Reviewed

Dead Clade Walking
Manky Holmes is a terrible sponsor. Desperately needy Joan looks into a cold case involving a fossil of an infant mini T-Rex. Holmes uses the phrase “gyno-difficulties” and boasts about another of his prurient hobbies. The fossil is destroyed. Gregson is a schlub. Joan and Holmes unravel a case involving ELE, the KT boundary and the enormously controversial theory of dead clade walking. It is all very quaint and contrived as the obvious suspect is the killer. Joan comes across as a prissily controlling poor sad thing, Gregson is 100% dumb bemusement and Holmes is an unrepentant clammy walking patronising attitude.

Best Lines:
“I’m Gay.”
“I’m not.”

“Before I ended up in the gutter.”

“All the tedious histrionics.”

“I’ve got Instagram photos.”

Emily has Niko cauterise her pulled stitches with a hot poker. Patrick is twisted and sick. Nolan dresses like a 1970s man ho. Jack and his French chick bore. Conrad and Emily have a bizarre alliance. Ungallant Daniel and louche Sara are smirking smugness as they flaunt their affair. Emily’s self-justifying soliloquies bore.

Niko moves into Nolan’s house, Conrad sabotages Voulez and Daniel, Sara is defiant opposition, Victoria is highly lacquered and Patrick is caustic and voraciously self serving. Emily has psychopath eyes, Daniel is all bombastic contemptuous hypocrisy and Patrick sob stories and tracks down his birth father (Brett Cullen). Emily tries to be resilient but has blackouts, Aidan has no integrity, Conrad exacerbates, French chick is under duress and nobody is listening to anyone.

Niko speaks truisms, Jack is malleable, Patrick induces apathy and is all exclusionary insensitivity, Victoria sob stories and retcons the past. Where have the flashbacks gone? Emily tells Sara’s mother her daughter is a dirty ho, Sara’s mother disowns her daughter after Sara demeans herself some more. Niko finds something under Aiden’s bed because Aiden is a moron. Patrick fire starts and Daniel gets violent and non-conciliatory. The first Mrs Grayson (Gail O’Grady) finally shows up. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Stay on your side of the river.”

“That’s when I learned what hatred was. And that it would greet me each day to come.”

“I’m trash?”

“Don’t you think this is sad Emily?”

“I really don’t care what some old bat from across the road is saying.”

“You’re poking a dangerous bear.”

“I dismantled Conrad’s first wife.”

“I assume satan will want the corner office.”

“My father trained you to be what you are today.”

“You are no longer a daughter of mine.”

“There will never be an us.”

“Sterilising you was my gift to the universe.”
Tags: elementary, revenge

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