epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Witchboard (1986)

Don’t play alone; it’s more than just a game.

Jim and Brandon are ex-best friends who fell out over their mutual love for Linda (Tawny Kitaen - who is pretty but talentless). At a party full of 80s hair, exposition and hair mousse an Ouija board is produced. Linda likes using the Ouija board and becomes targeted by a spirit who helps her retrieve a diamond ring from a sink drain with a toothbrush - she then replaces the toothbrush in the medicine cabinet unwashed. Oh yeah Linda’s possessed, cue 80s technology, acrylic nails, atrocious acting and a rebuilt male friendship. Linda swears and screams due to the evil spirit’s progressive entrapment.

A really annoying psychic Zarabeth (Kathleen Wilhoite) is called in but is useless as she acts like a fool and looks like she has unkempt body odour, she is quickly killed off thankfully. So the moronic Jim and pretentious Brandon have to save Linda themselves as a cop trails Jim suspecting him of being responsible for all the bodies piling up. This was hilarious unintentional comedy that makes no sense on several levels. Still it wasn’t bad just camp. It was followed by two terrible sequels.

Best Lines:
“It’s pronounced Ouija.”

“Spirits are lousy spellers.”

“They like to lie sometimes.”

“I don’t talk to cardboard.”

“Shut up Jim.”

“You went to med school???”

“What are you doing home?”
“I live here.”

“He’s sleeping right now.”
“That figures.”

“I’m living with Linda Blair.”

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