epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

The Musketeers 1x06 + Falling Skies 2x07-2x10 Reviewed

The Exile
A deeply stupid woman and her child are in peril, it is Aramis to the rescue. D’Artagnan stands around being useless. Athos and Porthos guard the King from his rotten factionalist scum mother Marie de Medicis. Who if rumour is to believed, arranged the assassination of her own husband. Louis XIII tantrums as it obvious Marie is actively subverting and has a whore’s kiss. Constance shows up for no justifiable reason. Thankfully Milady is still absent. The plot turns into a take on ‘The Man In The Iron Mask’. Marie plans a coup, all for ideological reasons and so she can show off her big hair. This was bad with bad acting.

Best Lines:
“You tried to steal my throne!”

“Why does she insist on provoking me?”

“Decapitating one’s mother is rarely popular with the people sire; it always looks a touch ungrateful.”

“I can’t have people running around trying to kill my mother, not unless I tell them to.”

“You think I’m frightened of the King’s toy soldiers?”

“The devil’s consort don’t belong amongst decent folk.”

“Being King can be so boring.”

“He’ll never be King, but he’ll be happier than the man who is.”

Molon Labe
Karen betrays Ben, she is appalling. Tom captures an Overlord, Matt’s dumb and the 2nd Mass is besieged. Ben and Tom yell at each other, new alien creatures attack and there is death, cheese and sap. Nobody can bring themselves to be polite to Pope. There is no concern raised because the siege isn’t dirty or nasty - it’s a farce with bad acting. Tom and the Overlord chat, again. How many planets have the Overlords invaded? Tom doesn’t ask. Instead the 2nd Mass head off to Charleston, Ben leaves to join The Great Skitter Rebellion and this was gravitas free probably because TPTB make this show up as they go along.

Best Lines:
“Things can only get worse Tom.”

“I’m leaving, accept it.”

“First Skitters, harnesses, eyeball worms, now these.”

“We need to think about what we’re going to do if those things get in here.”
“That’s easy. Die.”

“If we’d come here to commit genocide, every one of you would be dead.”

Death March
The 2nd Mass is on the final push to Charleston. Pope (Colin Cunningham) has nothing to do. An annoying harnessed kid is run across, literally. Maggie’s been lying to Hal. Lourdes has issues. Matt’s stupid. Hal’s an idiot. There is a lot of talking. Porter (Dale Dye) shows up to bring the 2nd Mass to Charleston. This was terrible.

The Price of Greatness
Charleston is actually an underground mall under the ruins of Charleston. Weaver’s tramp daughter is there; her boyfriend and the other annoying kids are MIA. Charleston is run by Arthur (Terry O’Quinn) who is Tom’s old college lecturer and an OTT General (Matt Frewer). Arthur won’t let them fight the aliens.

Tom picks fights, Arthur is a moron and Charleston isn’t the promised land. Matt whines and there is no truth based foundation to build a new country. This show is creatively destitute, insubstantial, the bad writing and acting is grossly offensive and attention seeking. Arthur turns into a tinpot dictator and brands the 2nd Mass as dissidents. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“There’s something off here.”

“Take the bleeder to medical.”

“If they wanted to attack this place, it’d be on fire by now.”

A More Perfect Union
Ben returns with the rebelling Skitters and a plan to kill an Overlord. The General rages and gets murdery. The thought of more Terry O’Quinn as the idiot coward and outright jerk Arthur in season 3 has made me decide to drop this show. Hal is a moron, Dai dies and Karen shows up to annoy. There is no realism, three dimensional characters or believable dialogue in this cack handed, cloying dross that is lazy and contrived. I don’t care about human dysfunction, give us aliens! Enough with the sickly sweet moments! Hal is compromised, Anne has a trout in the well and is crapping for two and are we supposed to care about the synthesis of leadership of the 2nd Mass? In the cliffhanger ending, another lot of aliens arrive in spaceships en masse. This was still terrible.

Best Lines:
“Shut up Pope!”

“Don’t be so lame Arthur!”

“What the hell are those?”
Tags: falling skies, musketeers

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