epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: The Wrong House aka House Hunting + Keeping Mum

The Wrong House aka House Hunting (2012)
Marc Singer of ‘V’ stars in this utterly abysmal ‘horror’ film. He goes house hunting with his bitch new wife and bratty daughter. They end up at a creepy old farmhouse along with a miserable blue collar family and a girl with no tongue. It seems the ghosts of the previous owners have imprisoned them there for some punishment. They can’t leave, annoying piano music plays, bad acting is displayed as characters exude either bored indifference or cloying platitudinous.

Ghosts lurk, time passes, canned food just appears, characters indulge in shouting, staring and hallucinating. This was boring, the characters were obnoxious with a deplorable appetite for conflict and this film was lethargic, ineffectual, lacked pace and was full of nastiness and stupidity. I didn’t care about their secrets or for the toxicity and dysfunction of low-life white trash who act distant and don’t give a damn. This was half-assed, incohesive and full of coffee table angst. Don’t get me started on the non-twist. This was awful.

Best Lines:
“Her? Is that how I’m referred to now?”

“Does any of this seem reasonable to you?”

“Is he your only one?”
“He is now.”

“We tried to leave 23 times.”

“Do not make me angry.”

Keeping Mum (2005)
A Vicar and his idiot clan get a housekeeper (Maggie Smith) who spent 43 years in jail for murder. She improves their lives by getting rid of annoyances. This was slow and utterly awful.

Best Line:
“We do not say that word on a Sunday.”
Tags: movie review

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