epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

The Musketeers 1x02 + Banshee 1x09 Reviewed

Sleight of Hand
D’Artagnan ends up in prison as part of a cunning plan by the smug, self-satisfied musketeers. The All For One motto has yet to appear. D’Artagnan has to befriend a prisoner named Vadim (Jason Flemyng of ‘Primeval') and find out what he is up to. Constance and her dork husband lurks. This show is giving me nothing; I feel only outright distain for it. Milady is awful and continues the oversexed presentation of herself. There is foreshadowing of the French Revolution and this show is all wrong and all empty.

The Queen flirts with Aramis. Milday tries to outporn herself as she tempts d’Artaganan to the dark side. Why does everyone incessantly pander to the unintelligent twit? This show is a public dissolution of talent. The menopausal Barbie looking Richelieu looms being ineffective. The palace seems clean and under populated. Milady steals the Queen’s diamond pendant which will be important later on I’m sure. TPTB don’t know what they’re making or who this grilled spam of a show is for. TPTB have no talent and can’t do anything right. This sucked.

Best Lines:
“I hope you’re very proud.”

“Mutton is the one that goes baahh and has wool on it.”

“Some fantasy of a peasant revolution.”

“Is this a threat?”
“Not yet.”

“Any time you want your sword polished.”

“Common sense is for commoners, not for kings.”

“Gutter born.”

“Base ingratitude.”

Always A Cowboy
This was ridiculous with Carrie running around bleeding, her kids being kidnapped by her crazy father, Lucas and Kai bonding as they beat on each other and Mr Rabbit showing up to menace.
Tags: musketeers, primeval, review

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