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Retro Review: Tales Of The Unexpected (1979 - 1988) 4x01

Would You Believe It?
This famous show had memorable blood tinged opening credits with jarring musical chords and this episode is based on the story ‘She Fell Among Thieves’ by Robert Edmond Alter. While on a dig in Jordan (actually a beach in England) two archaeologists discover a beautiful statue of a naked woman. The mean one, Tanner, decides to stash it in his van and smuggle it to Israel to sell it. The nice one Miller (Nigel Havers all hot, sweaty and blonde) is bullied into going along with it.

Rain clouds gather and then it pours and pours, Tanner cracks up and it turns out the duo really should have examined that statue much closer. Tanner’s silent anger and spite erupts into full on crazy when they arrive in Israel and all that is left of the statue is a pool of salty water. The twist that the statue was none other than Lot’s wife is a good one. Miller smokes and strolls off in stiff upper lip fashion. This was okay, poor Lot’s wife. She looked back and now is known forever as Lot’s wife. No name of her own and a terrible punishment for such a ‘sin’.

Best Lines:
“Respectable people like you and I can get on with earning our living.”

“How old do you reckon she is?”
“You got no idea how old this might be son. Doesn’t look Greek or Roman come to that.”

“Don’t give me all that stuff about this nation’s cultural heritage.”
“She does belong to these people you know.”

“I’ve been thinking.”
“Spare me.”

“The find of the century.”

“I draw the line at murder.”
“Well I don’t.”

“Whiskey and malaria, well done Tanner. Terrific combination.”

“I’d rather die that give her up.”

“The bloody rain!”

“He keeps raving about Lot’s wife.”

“What were you carrying in the truck?”
“Would you believe Lot’s wife?”
“No.”
Tags: 1980s horror anthologies
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