The Bridge
The world’s stupidest prison break leads to the mysterious woman (Ruth Negga of ‘World War Z’) and Skye making it all about herself, as usual. Coulson’s gang of morons, jerks and idiots take on Centipede, which is surely the world’s dumbest name for supervillains. Mike Peterson is back, training to be a SHIELD agent.
This show defies common sense and this ep was an absolute dumpster fire. Coulson drives around in his stupid car showing off his bad acting. Centipede is behind everything or something. Coulson and co are incompetent, nothing new there.
People babble about the clairvoyant, there is sap, a twist, a stupid kid and several people may be dead at the cliff-hanger. I care not due to the flat effect acting. Is this crap cancelled yet? This ep was crap, be dead Ward. I think I’m done.
Best Lines:
“Nice to cut my own meat again.”
“They’re a myth.”
“So was Thor.”
“A disturbingly rapid pace.”
~
Heathridge Manor
A disturbed man bullies his sister into helping him murder women he thinks are the devil’s brides. He has inherited the delusions of his mother (Juliet Landau of ’Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and ’Angel’). The BAU and a detective (Robert Englund of ’Urban Legend’, ’Hatchet’ and the original ’V’) lurk and blather.
This could have been good and creepy but wasn’t. The acting was bad and the climax when Hotch drops the loony brother down his own torture hole was ridiculous. Then came the even more ridiculous ending. This disappointed.
Best Lines:
“Teacher by day, Elvira by night.”
“Is that the next wife?”
“Yes.”
“When will you hunt her down?”
“When we’re finished with the one we have now.”
“A devil’s wife will surely rise.”
“If you don’t kill her, who will?
“A house that breeds delusions.”
~
Self-Destruct
There is a big over dramatic reveal of the fact; Ryan is awake and walking off his gunshot wound and coma. Ryan is an incompetent dick. Alex is rogue and beating up drug dealers. Nikita is sure that Amanda did something to her, Nikita really is little miss it’s all about me. Nikita goes on yet another personal mission ignoring the fact 99% of the Division roster just went on the run.
Alex has gone nuts, Nikita has all the warmth of Nadine Coyle and there are flashbacks to Nikita’s Division days 6 years ago when she was screaming about dead Daniel. Nikita is smug as she chases Alex and unconcerned about the 308 rogue agents or the fact that 20 of the dirty 30 remain uncaught.
Ryan has a moronic plan, the POTUS is dumb, Nikita whines and drug dealers get beat up. This ep was awful and this show will never be good again, not ever.
Best Lines:
“Total freaking psycho.”
“Crazy junkie ho, went all kung fu in there!”
“I need to go have no part of this conversation.”
“So they sent two detectives on a priority call to a crack house because some hooker beat up some drug dealers.”
“Where are we going to go?”
“Taking in runaways and working them at truck stops.”
“We are fugitives in 26 countries, including this one.”
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