epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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The Following 1x04 - 1x07 Reviewed

Mad Love
Emma is spiteful and malicious; Paul and Jacob are hot but dim psychos. Paul is disgusted that Jacob hasn’t killed anyone. Dudebro Jacob is a mass of self pity about not being a murderer. The farmhouse is a cesspool of savagery and sexual weirdness. FBI Agent Mike (Shawn Ashmore) broods. Joey is still missing. Joe spews more digressions, diversions, flashbacks and narrative loops. Execute him already; he looks like a piece of rope chewed on by a dog.

Rick’s widow Maggie is a serial killer and a peripheral cultist and she targets Hardy’s sister Jenny. Maggie is an appalling, barely sentient and pathetic mass of toxic damage. Hardy’s sad back-story is revealed as Maggie the uptight dervish tries to kill him, she is about as threatening as ‘Punky Brewster’. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Girls go missing all the time.”

“We’re wanted in 50 states, Emma, who cares?”

“You don’t bond.”

“I think you need a better plan.”

“You and death go way back.”

The Siege
Jacob, Paul and Emma have had a threesome. The sexually confused Jacob shows off his Poe tattoos. Jacob is stupid, Paul is fantastically hideous and Carroll’s lawyer Olivia shows up. Olivia is completely menaced by Carroll for disturbing reasons. More cultists come out of the woodwork. Claire’s dumb. Paul kills a nice elderly couple with a garden hoe and Joey is daft. There is tension and blood. This was good.

Best Lines:
“I’m great at thank yous.”

“How did it go?”
“Besides my appearing like a raving madwoman, it was heard by everyone.”

“What am I a part of?”

The Fall
Foolish thing Claire is even more of an idiot. Hardy is a hostage at the farmhouse and he mocks the worthless hot psychos. Emma uses Megan as leverage. The cultists blather about Roderick a lot. Flashbacks to Debra Parker’s past reveal her upbringing in a cult and how her awful parents betrayed her. Her mother is played by Buffy’s mom Joyce.

Joe and his overbearing conversational style, arrogance and sincere conviction that everything revolves around him and his weird forcefulness annoys. Claire is oddly shrill. Hardy mocks the three-way situation at the farmhouse. A siege erupts. Joe is disgusted that Claire is a Celine Dion fan. Joe had Claire stalked. Emma betrays and abandons the hot psychos. Hardy stabs Paul; the siege goes awry as there are a lot more cultists than first thought. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Nobody’s in charge.”
“That would explain a lot.”

“I killed my mother.”
“I know. Most of us only dream about doing it.”

“What about you? Gay?”
“Shut up.”

“Who are all these people?”

“Nobody tells me what to do.”
“Except Joe.”
“I make my own choices.”
“How so?”

“What is all this about?”

“Celine Dion. Oh, good god.”

“It’s impure.”

“We’re in trouble.”

“How did they do that?”

Let Me Go
Joey sees a woman kept in a cage by a screaming hysteric who has regular vile outbursts yet still trusts Emma. Joe Carroll wants to move prisons. Joe’s collection of people with serious mental disorders have a plan. Joe breaks out of prison again thanks to the idiot prison warden, this is a worrisome development.

Yet more cultists show up. Joe Carroll throttles someone with his broken hand. Joe rants at Hardy about how Act One is just over and then lectures about story structure. Hardy does some enhanced interrogation on a really annoying captured cultist. This was okay. Joe Carroll comes home to his scarily large cult.

Best Lines:
“I’m presently committing at least seven felonies.”

“You can’t die in a parking garage. That would be most uneventful.”

“We’ll find them and break them.”
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